Lion or Pig?

[Teddy1]

Appologies if this has been on:



Subject: Do you want to be a pig or a lion?
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days
you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you "broke wind" consistently for 6 years and
9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it
pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.



(O.M.G.!)

A A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)


A cockroach will live nine days without its head
before it starves to death. (Creepy.)

(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150
calories a hour

(Don't try this at home,maybe at work)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its
head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the
male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's
like a human jumping the length of a football field.

(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

(I still want to be a pig in my next
life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm......)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years
longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the
difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(okay, so that would be a good thing)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)



An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.


(I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains
I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that
have sex for pleasure.

[Martinp]

you just like Rebecca loos:P

[guest1]

Seeing as we are in a jovial mood, thought I'd post this froma friend of mine. Bit weird, but some are quite funny. My friend is obsessed with 'The Hoff' - I think it all stems from the 'I helped bring down the Berlin Wall' quote...

David Hasselhoff is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis (Berlin).

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures David
Hasselhoff allows to live.

When David Hasselhoff was born, the nurse said, "Holy Cow! That's David Hasselhoff!" Then she had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.

When David Hasselhoff goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects David Hasselhoff could use to kill you, including the room itself.

The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from David Hasselhoff and forgot to pay him back.

David Hasselhoff can count backwards from infinity.

Crop circles are David's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f**k down.

When David Hasselhoff jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets David instead.

David Hasselhoff can divide by zero.

In fine print at on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by David Hasselhoff, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.

David Hasselhoff is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's ****.

David Hasselhoff has two speeds: walk and kill.

David Hasselhoff is the reason why Wally is hiding.

David Hasselhoff can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

You are what you eat. That is why David Hasselhoff diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.

David Hasselhoff once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.

David Hasselhoff played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

If you were to lock David Hasselhoff in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this David replied "Because Grammy's are for qu**rs." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.

On his birthday, David Hasselhoff randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

When David Hasselhoff does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Whenever David Hasselhoff puts out a cigarette, he throws it in slow motion into a long line of gasoline and calmly walks away as an inferno erupts behind him.

David Hasselhoff invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

David Hasselhoff coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.

David Hasselhoff haunts Freddy Krueger's nightmares.

The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when David Hasselhoff punched himself in the face.