Help me understand women!

[andyb]

I just dont get it! You want to watch England v N zealand or Aus.......... or a moto gp,,,, they moan, I mean!

Then they moan when you wont watch crp like east enders or enthuse about Nadia winning BBrother.. Im sure they are a total different breed!!!!

Help[ me understand!!

[electricsheep]

If you just accept that they are just beyond comprehension, then it all gets easier :D

[Henners]

Read 'Man are from Mars, Women are from Venus' - it's a load of cr@p but there's one key lesson - men and women use the same words but we speak different languages ;)

[andyb]

I can quite frankly get excited about things like understanding desmo valve systems or fitting a bit of kit to my bike.
THEY get all upset if you dont come and watch crp on the telly with them..... i have to say i find this whole BB thing somewhat repulsive, yet she finds it compulsive viewing.................its a man baby!!!!!

[Henners]

I agree - no interest in BB but we've compromised, I'm doing breakfast in bed in the morning :D

[bradders]

BB5 - great entertainment!! But then I am in touch with my feminine side...

[Henners]

Prefer BSB :lol:

[dickieducati]

andy,
i thought you would be able to empathise with the whole big brother concept.......being told what to do by some generally unseen body, given ridiculous rules to abide by, being punished for trivial errors. etc etc.... ;)

[andyb]

The public?

[AK]

:puzzled: I must not be a woman then...

I ban soaps in our house, (include BB as soap too!), only shop for clothes in lunch hour (not so much time for indecision then:lol: ).

I go out on bike even if hubby is out/busy whatever....am only able to take bike apart - but wont put together - thats what blokes do innit?:P.

I do my nails tho - I like ducati red for work.....and always wear suits & heels, along with makeup for work too. Not often for biking tho...... :lol::lol: (mascara running down face isnt nice.... and high heels play havoc with low level cans:lol: )

Cook most weekday nights... but like to go out - or be taken out at w/ends tho... and always watch GP/WSB etc - as well as motor racing!

C:saint:

[Redruth]

CK, being an exception just adds to their confusion. If they can't fathom the standard model, what change have they got with the suped up ones? Don't attempt to enlighten them. The less they understand, the more freedom you've got.

Andyb, your confusion seems to stem from the fact that you've let her have the remote control. This is very unusual behaviour for a man and I'm surprised you've fessed up to it. GET IT BACK. That will solve a lot of the problems. Or, put a TV in your garage and tell HER you're giving her some 'space'. And one more tip (I've got loads but I'll keep them to myself, thanks) never, ever suggest she's pre-menstrual. We really hate that, especially when it's true. :devil::devil::lol:

[Ian]

Is a relationship not about tolerance and trying to understand what the other enjoys? Can pleasure not be derived from seeing somebody else happy however odd it seems to us? Or did Alexander the Great have the right idea?

As for Big Brother, - in my opinion you can't dismiss this year’s show as being in the same junk league as soaps. This years series was the most interesting example of a micro-society, - I think put together by some very clever psychologists who had the sense to foresee how certain personalities would react when mixed with others. At times it was fascinating to watch and see first hand how alcohol used by people who can't handle it has such a negative effect on a community, - and also how 1 person can have such a disruptive effect on a group of people which resulted in conflict.

The chosen winner also proved something deep within the UK psyche, - we all love an underdog and the sympathy vote here is king. Or was it fair play to a trans being "accepted" for the person she is now?

[Henners]

Is a relationship not about tolerance and trying to understand what the other enjoys? Can pleasure not be derived from seeing somebody else happy however odd it seems to us?

In a word Ian NO!

[kwikbitch]

This thread is so funny...AS IF WE are gonna give YOU tips on understanding US...:lol::lol::P:lol::P

[uncle porry]

Originally posted by kwikbitch
This thread is so funny...AS IF WE are gonna give YOU tips on understanding US...:lol::lol::P:lol::P

would listen very carefuly to any tips you might have, however, surely you have to be able to understand yourselves before you can start giving us advice ??:D

[AK]

Originally posted by uncle porry
Originally posted by kwikbitch
This thread is so funny...AS IF WE are gonna give YOU tips on understanding US...:lol::lol::P:lol::P

would listen very carefuly to any tips you might have, however, surely you have to be able to understand yourselves before you can start giving us advice ??:D

Oh-Oh!:o

...............I can feel a (old type) V-man comment appearing from myself soon......:devil:

C:lol:

ps, apologies Van!;)

[nelly]

You've no chance :o

You're better off buying a book on Nuclear Physics or trying to come up with your own theory on how the universe was created from a single atom that went pop one day...................... :sing:

Just remember..................simply nod when you're spoken to, smile when you get home, and never..........never.............tell her her bum looks big in those jeans :D
Oh yeah, and buy a second TV :bouncy:

[kwikbitch]

Originally posted by nelly
You've no chance :o

You're better off buying a book on Nuclear Physics or trying to come up with your own theory on how the universe was created from a single atom that went pop one day...................... :sing:



Or you could by the bible...
Why did God create man first?
because you always do a rough draft before you create your masterpiece....
:burn:

OK...I'll get me coat!:P

[paulmort]

Ian, wot you been on, must make a note to myself "steer clear of that stuff he's smokin, its really bad"
Nelly, astro physics and desmodronics must be in the same manual
KB, welcome back, but we still aint goin to understand wimmin' not matter how much you hold back
and well done to CK, she can spanner better than me
All I now need to know is how to get ooodles of brownie points so I ant in the pooh as I head off for Cadwell
Ladee members...............................HHHHHHHHHHHH HEEEEEEEEEEEEELP please, (mort grovelin nicely)
in a likkle worrysome blooo mood:(:(:(

[Henners]

There's only one piece of advice worth anything to us men - maintain an air of mystery chaps!

[jodycraw]

Couple of lessons I've learned - Don't advise her to wear shorts on holiday when she's even a tiny bit worried about wearing a bikini. That doesn't go down too well.

Oh, and don't let her look down your phone unless you're sure it's "clean" of ANY incriminating evidence.

[Redruth]

Speaking as someone who doesn't understand blokes, understanding women is a learning curve. By the time you get to 50, you might be half way there. Expect progress to be slow and painfull. Changing models, particularly changing to younger ones, only adds to the confusion. You either have to admit failure early on and just enjoy being confused or steer clear of us all together. Let's face it, if you're honest, you'd rather be out having a blat with the blokes or having a quiet drink in the pub ... come to that, so would I!

[Henners]

LOOKS LIKE I'M A GONNA GET IT. YIPPEE!!!

What are you going to get? :rolleye:

Another example of womens' inscruitability :lol:

[Redruth]

Originally posted by Henners

LOOKS LIKE I'M A GONNA GET IT. YIPPEE!!!

What are you going to get? :rolleye:

Another example of womens' inscruitability :lol:

Well, generally, in my case, it could apply to all kinds of things. In this particular instance, however, it applied to Yeti's 996SPS. :sing:

[guest1]

Oh no! Nadia's a MAN you say!!!! OK so she may look a bit rough round the edges, and that steel pole looked as though it was bending a little when she was hangin off it, but has anyone checked her credentials? She may have said it just for the sympathy vote.

If women were female men I could understand them, but they're not, and I don't.

As the old punchline goes:"It would be easier to build a multi-lane highway between England and Hawaii than it would to be able to understand a woman"

[DJ Tera]

Do not even bother trying to understand 'woman' - no point attempting to apply logic to something completely devoid of it ;)

[Fordie]

[ [/quote]

Or you could by the bible...
Why did God create man first?
because you always do a rough draft before you create your masterpiece....
:burn:

OK...I'll get me coat!:P [/quote]

Maybe God is a woman,great minds think a like, then Man may as well ride around on a Ducati with his mates cause we an'int much good at anything else if we are to believe the fairer sex's angle of things, the thing with Man/ Women is we dont live long enough or have the time to waste in trying to understand Man Women relationships,just how many books have been writen about the subject, most of the writers have all ended up divorced or chucked them self of Beachy Head . I think Einstien's Theory of Relitivity may indeed be an easier subject to understand. Ill just ask the missus 4D

[yeti]

Quite frankly I am amazed anyone was even stupid enough to ask the question. We are not meant to understand wimin, that's the whole point of the experiment. Just accept they are different. If you want more evidence read "Why men don't listen.... by the Peases" -

http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0752846191/qid=1092063000/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl/026-7023760-6311643

PS: Why does it take 7 wimin with PMT to change a lightbulb??
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because IT DOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

:sing:

Stand by for action.......................

[kwikbitch]

OH COME ON JOHN...Surely you know better than to goad us on?...RIGHT...

What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract.

...OH...I FEEL MUCH BETTER NOW...

;):D

[DJ Tera]

Originally posted by kwikbitch
OH COME ON JOHN...Surely you know better than to goad us on?...RIGHT...

What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract.

...OH...I FEEL MUCH BETTER NOW...

;):D



Why do women close their eyes during sex?


























Because they can't bear to see a man enjoying himself... :sing:

[paulmort]

KBs back, I can tell from the tone
OK Guys, admit it, we aint gonna win
but Im having a ball (ache) trying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I did hear a woman once say that men have three phases in life

Tri weekly
Try weekly
and
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Try weakly

Doh, I'll get me coat then
mort
reading blooo shifting stars is so much easier to unnerstand than wimmin

[Henners]

I don't hold with appeasement. Women are different and there's no denying it. Don't go trying to win favours by trying to understand them ... it'll all end in tears. Can't live with them can't shoot them.

[guest1]

Why are hurricanes all named after women?
I'm sure there's a punch line but I can't remember it.
Nadia's a man!?![b]

[Edited on 9-8-2004 by guest1]

[yeti]

Specially for Kwikbitch...............


When next making love to one's beloved, try suggesting she not quite as good in bed as her sister/mother/best friend. Then hang on for the best ride of your life!!!!!

:burn:

[Edited on 10-8-2004 by yeti]

[DJ Tera]

Originally posted by yeti
Specially for Kwikbitch...............


When next making love to one's beloved, try suggesting she not quite as good in bed as her sister/mother/best friend. Then hang on for the best ride of your life!!!!!

:burn:

[Edited on 10-8-2004 by yeti]


Ahhh, the ol' Buckin' Bronco! :lol:

[yeti]

That's the one, don't you just love it...............

[DJ Tera]

Originally posted by yeti
That's the one, don't you just love it...............

Yeah.... just make sure you sleep on your front afterwards! ;)

[yeti]

Sleep on my font? Wouldn't dare, just think of the possible revenge whe you lying there with your bum all exposed.............

[Redruth]

Yeti:

Take 100 lines -

I promise not to sell any more bikes to wimin
I promise not to sell any more bikes to wimin
I promise not to sell any more bikes to wimin
I promise not to sell any more bikes to wimin
I promise not to sell any more bikes to wimin
I promise not to sell any more bikes to wimin


:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
Are you getting grief for it, me dear? :sing::sing: I was awake half the night reading Twist of the Wrist, I plan to gradually work through your list of requirements before taking deliver of the bike and I will (eventually) learn to appreciate all the TLC you put into it. ....

And then I thought I'd take all the snazzy bits off and put them up for sale on e-bay. The sum of all the parts, in this case, is definitely greater than the whole. :lol::lol::lol::lol: (JUST KIDDING - CALM DOWN, MAN)

[DJ Tera]

Originally posted by yeti
Sleep on my font? Wouldn't dare, just think of the possible revenge whe you lying there with your bum all exposed.............

Just think of the possible revenge if you're lying on your back though mate!! :o :lol:

[yeti]

I dunno DJ, my a**e is infinately more vulnerable, not to mention sensitive to insertions

[DJ Tera]

The old farmer giles giving you gip? :lol:

[Jewell]

:lol:
Great thread,good jokes KB.

[Melnie Mouse]

Hi, I like CK, must be out of the ordinary too, I like wsb and gp, riding bike, playing with old cars too, my Dad taught me how to weld and I rebuilt my old beetle, I serviced it myself twice a year, (out of touch now on modern engines tho) and HATE shopping... and do it very rarely.... then it's not so bad... I only watch the occasional soap, and not much else, I like Action Films no girlie ones with all that love crap and soppy stuff in...

so am I weird???

[Loz]

Originally posted by Melnie Mouse
Hi, I like CK, must be out of the ordinary too, I like wsb and gp, riding bike, playing with old cars too, my Dad taught me how to weld and I rebuilt my old beetle, I serviced it myself twice a year, (out of touch now on modern engines tho) and HATE shopping... and do it very rarely.... then it's not so bad... I only watch the occasional soap, and not much else, I like Action Films no girlie ones with all that love crap and soppy stuff in...

so am I weird???

Only in a very nice way, Mel! :lol:

The suit fits perfectly - I'm well chuffed. Cheers, mate!

:D:D

[TP]

Originally posted by Melnie Mouse
Hi, I like CK, must be out of the ordinary too, I like wsb and gp, riding bike, playing with old cars too, my Dad taught me how to weld and I rebuilt my old beetle, I serviced it myself twice a year, (out of touch now on modern engines tho) and HATE shopping... and do it very rarely.... then it's not so bad... I only watch the occasional soap, and not much else, I like Action Films no girlie ones with all that love crap and soppy stuff in...

so am I weird???

Damn I'm alraedy married ....

DOH!

[paulmort]

Redruth
quote
I was awake half the night reading Twist of the Wrist,
Me I was awake half the night reading "Shake of the wrist"
Doh better leave now wiff hat, coat and everything else before its too late
mort:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:: lol:
:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P

[Redruth]

Originally posted by paulmort
Redruth
quote
I was awake half the night reading Twist of the Wrist,
Me I was awake half the night reading "Shake of the wrist"
Doh better leave now wiff hat, coat and everything else before its too late
mort:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:: lol:
:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P

You is a V. bad boy. Report to me in the morning, please.

[paulmort]

Redruth
Im saying this very quietly so KB dont hear, she thinks Im 2 timing her, but I aint

You is a V. bad boy. Report to me in the morning, please.

WHAT TIME 2MORRA and do I have to bring anything wiff me??????????????

btw how do you do that quote bizzness in a seperate box??????:o:o

Im going to set up another post but for all the readers, Mort has a new toy to join Blooo Duke, see below.........

Doh, cant find attachment button now.............

[Edited on 11-8-2004 by paulmort]

[TP]

Aren't you struggling with the web today Mort.

For quotes you can either use the green quote button on the rhs top of the post box or you can use these brackets [] with quote inside the first set of brackets ... then the text you want to quote (could paste it in) and then another st of brackets [] with /quote in those .... and it will look like this below ...

btw how do you do that quote bizzness in a seperate box??????

You can only add an attachment if you click on the post reply button as opposed to using the Quick Reply box at the bottom of each thread.

The TP helpdesk is now closed ... :lol:

Incidentally Mort, trying a Montana Marlborough Sauv Blanc from kiwiland - tasty :D Thought you'd be interested ...

[Henners]

Now you're talking - can't beat the NZ SBs - absolutely mouth watering :frog:

[TP]

Originally posted by Henners
Now you're talking - can't beat the NZ SBs - absolutely mouth watering :frog:

Yes it's quality!!

Shame their Rugby isn't!

OH YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!

GO YOU WALLABIES

[TP]

Just kidding, I know they are a quality rugby side - I'm just happy to have returned the favour in Sydney on the weekend after they beat us in Wellington.

[Henners]

How do you get from making wine to playing with peculiarly shaped balls?

[TP]

NZ wine ... NZ All Blacks .... us beating the All Blacks ...

Easy if you're committed (and not to an institution!)

[Redruth]

Minor point here guys - 'technical info and wine don't mix' You can have one or the other, but not both. Trust me. I'm an expert in the latter and complete no hoper in the former. What was the thread here? Oh yeah. 'Help me understand women.' Women, in general, will not admit to their faiilings. In fact, they are not failings, they are 'qualtiies, reasons you love them, advantages even.' The chasm between men and women is SOOOOO huge, it cannot be crossed. Can we ditch this thread? It's been entertaining, enlightening, exasperating and is now expired! PLEASE??? But I'm a woman, so who's gonna take any notice of me??

:rodent::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

[TP]

Originally posted by Redruth
Minor point here guys - 'technical info and wine don't mix' You can have one or the other, but not both. Trust me. I'm an expert in the latter and complete no hoper in the former.

Who says? I write my best documentation with wine although I have to make liberal use of the F7 key .... :frog:

Women, in general, will not admit to their faiilings. In fact, they are not failings, they are 'qualtiies, reasons you love them, advantages even.'

I thought this was character? Kinda like why I love my Ducati

[888heaven]

When God created Eve and she'd been hanging around he asked her if she was happy with what he had created,so she looked in the mirror.
Why have i got three breasts she asked God? I think i would look better with 2 so God removed one and chucked it in the hedge.
A week later Eve said she was lonely and asked for a partner so God retreived the useless tit and introduced man.

Im only a useless tit when it comes to housework i perkup as soon as the garage door is lifted""""

[Redruth]

[/quote]

I thought this was character? Kinda like why I love my Ducati [/quote]

Ohhhh. Tp996 you're a cutie:P:P:P

[TP]

:ninja:

[Redruth]

Originally posted by 888heaven
When God created Eve and she'd been hanging around he asked her if she was happy with what he had created,so she looked in the mirror.
Why have i got three breasts she asked God? I think i would look better with 2 so God removed one and chucked it in the hedge.
A week later Eve said she was lonely and asked for a partner so God retreived the useless tit and introduced man.

Im only a useless tit when it comes to housework i perkup as soon as the garage door is lifted""""

This will be copied, archived and retrieved as evidence in the event of a matrimonial dispute. You know when you've been tangod.

[guest1]

I took up the offer of free decals (market place)from "Revolution Decals". Pretty neat they are as well. cheers guys!:)
However, wrt this thread, a couple of the decals are of "4-Play" in a kind of scripty font.
My 8 year old daughter saw these and said "If you don't want those dad, can I put them on my bike?" To which, mother chips in with "course you can love, daddy doesn't know what they mean any way"
OOOhhhhhh, cutting, straight for the jugular. See, once they start to gang up on yer' it's time to retreat to the garage.:lol:

[guest1]

Was it Zen or Confucious who said "Woman like typewriter - not part of office furniture till screwed on desk"

[Loz]

Originally posted by guest1
I took up the offer of free decals (market place)...

:lol: Oh, that was harsh! :lol:

[TP]

After hours of exhaustive web searching I can confirm the rumours are definitely true!!!

You are indeed NOT allowed to shoot them :o

:lol: :D

[Edited on 11-8-2004 by tp-996]

[kwikbitch]

Yeah but...How can you tell when a man is well hung?

When you can just barely slip your finger between his neck and the noose.
:devil:

[paulmort]

Yup, I got the 4 play stickers as well

which reminds me TP
You know the Australian version of 4 play??
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
You awake Sheila?
:sing::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

[TP]

Why do they need to be awake?

They only whinge then ....

[dickieducati]

a late one tp???

[TP]

umm ... yeah

:D

Farewell for a mate of mine going back to Oz .....

Things got a bit carried away, quite hungover at the moment and disinterested in being at work.

[AK]

Originally posted by andyb
I just dont get it! You want to watch England v N zealand or Aus.......... or a moto gp,,,, they moan, I mean!

Then they moan when you wont watch crp like east enders or enthuse about Nadia winning BBrother.. Im sure they are a total different breed!!!!

Help[ me understand!!

So.... got anymore understanding yet Andy??:P:lol::lol:

C:devil:

[dickieducati]

Originally posted by tp-996
umm ... yeah

:D

Things got a bit carried away, quite hungover at the moment and disinterested in being at work.

know the feeling.............

we should try and arrange a london area drink up for sometime coming up to xmas.

[TP]

Originally posted by dickieducati
know the feeling.............

we should try and arrange a london area drink up for sometime coming up to xmas.

Absolutely, plenty of notice and get a big attendance ..

:cool: