| And when they get older they go on quiz shows:
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The Weakest Link BBC2
Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway.
Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
Contestant: Bombay.
Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
Contestant: Crocodiles.
Robinson: Wh...?
Contestant (interrupting): Pass!
Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.
Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?
Contestant: (long pause) Joe?
National Lottery Jet Set, BBC1
Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the initials G.B.S.?
Contestant: William Shakespeare.
Chris Searle Show, BBC Radio Bristol
Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller: Japan.
Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er... Mexico?
Family Fortunes, ITV
1) Something a blind man might use? A Sword
2) A Song with the word Moon in the title? Blue Suede Moon
3) Name the Capital of France? F
4) Name a bird with a long Neck? Naomi Campbell
5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? A burglar
6) Where is the Taj Mahal? Opposite the DentalHospital
7) What is Hitlers first name? Heil
8) A famous Scotsman? Jock
9) Some famous brothers? Bonnie and Clyde.
10) A dangerous race? The Arabs
11) Something that floats in a bath? Water
12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? A horse
13) Something you wear on a beach? A deckchair
14) A famous Royal? Mail
15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? A bicycle with wings
16) A famous bridge? The Bridge Over Troubled Waters
17) Something a cat does ? Goes to the Toilet
18) Something you do in the bathroom? Decorate
19) A method of securing your home? Put the kettle on
20) Something associated with pigs? The Police
21) A sign of the Zodiac? April
22) Something people might be allergic to? Skiing
23) Something you do before you go to bed? Sleep
24) Something you put on walls? A roof
25) Something Slippery? A conman
26) A kind of ache? A fillet of fish
27) A Jacket Potato topping? Jam
28) A food that can be brown or white? potato
29) Something sold by gypsies? Bananas
30) Something Red? My sweater
The Afternoon Programme Quiz, ABC 774
Presenter: Who killed Cock Robin?
Contestant: Oh God, I didn't even know he was dead.
Lincs FM phone-in
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona.
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain...
Steve Wright Show, Radio 2
Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube?
Contestant: India.
Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?
Contestant: Espresso.
Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney.
Contestant: Sydney.
Wright: What was the animal referred to in Val Doonican's song Paddy McGinty's?
Contestant: I don't know.
Wright: It begins with a "G".
Contestant: Cow.
This Morning, ITV
Judy Finnegan: The American TV show 'The Sopranos' is about opera. True or false?
Contestant: True?
Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American TV show, so I'll give you that.
BBC Radio Newcastle
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.
Bob Hope Birthday Quiz, LBC
Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?
Contestant: Four.
BBC GMR, Phil Wood Show
Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er...
Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor...
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood:Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run....
Contestant: (Silence)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I...
Contestant: Walked?
Daryl's Drivetime, Virgin Radio
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland?
Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
Contestant: No.  |