Never expected much at the start - disappointed I haven't found what I and others know is inside me. Like being in there but just wish I knew why i'm riding like a learner

To have people say 'thats not the Lin I know' is frustrating to say the least let alone what I feel myself.
I will complete the season - hopefully maintain rubber side down - and maybe just maybe at the remaining meetings the rider I can be will return!
I don't mind being last against whats a very competative line up but I do feel annoyed with myself when I know I could do so much better.