| --Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
--Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
--Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.
--Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
--Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
--Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
--Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
--Criminal: A guy no different from the rest except that he got caught.
--Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
--Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
--Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
--Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
--Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
--Father: A banker provided by nature.
--Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
--Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
--Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
--Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
--Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
--Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
--Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
--Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
--Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.
--Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.  |