[Jasper]

Possibly the funniest story in a long while. This is a bricklayer's
accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the American
Insurance Journal. This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have
received a Darwin Award for sure...

Dear Sir

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in
Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause
of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the
following details will be sufficient.
I was alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my
work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed
later, were found be slightly more than 500 lb...
Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in
barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building
on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the
roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went
down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of
the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form, that
I weigh 135lb..

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my
presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I
proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity
of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward
at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor
abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed
in section 3 of the accident report form.
Slowed down slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until
the fingers on my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able
to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a great
deal of pain.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the
ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.
Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approxima
50lbs. I refer you again to my weight.
As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the
building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This
accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several
lacerations of my legs and lower body.
Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel
seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile
of bricks
and fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in
pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and
let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel beginning
its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your questions.