As Ericthered says.
Play them at their own game.
When your license finally comes back, say it didn't if you catch my drift.
DVLA will send out a replacement and pick up the tab. You then have 2 to play with.
Better if you do it before any points going on, 1 clean and 1 dirty license
I know several people who do it now when they pass a new license rating I.E. bike or HGV, when the examiner takes your license and sends it away for you after successfully passing, you claim it never arrived back with your new entitlement on.
Voila 2 licenses paid for by DVLA.......