| You beauty....
This is a
true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a
recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help
Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect
organization for "Termination without Cause".
>
> Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
>
> (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
>
> Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
> Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
> Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
> Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went
away."
> Operator: "Went away?"
> Caller: "They disappeared."
> Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
> Caller: "Nothing."
> Operator: "Nothing??"
> Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
> Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
> Caller: "How do I tell?"
> Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
> Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
> Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
> Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I
type."
> Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
> Caller: "What's a monitor?"
> Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does
it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
> Caller: "I don't know."
> Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the
power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
> Caller: "Yes, I think so."
> Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged
into the wall.
> Caller: "Yes, it is."
> Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there
were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
> Caller: "No."
> Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find
the other cable."
> Caller: "Okay, here it is."
> Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the
back of your computer."
> Caller: "I can't reach."
> Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
> Caller: "No."
> Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way
over??"
> Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because
it's dark."
> Operator: "Dark??"
> Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is
coming in from the window."
> Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
> Caller: "I can't."
> Operator: "No? Why not??"
> Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
> Operator: "A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came
in??"
> Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
> Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just
like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it
from."
> Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
> Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
> Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
> Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own a computer.
>  |