[Herb]

This morning on the Motorway, I looked over to my left
and there was a woman in a brand new Jag' doing 65 mph
with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting
on her eyeliner.

I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back
she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that
make up. As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared
me so much; I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked
the donut out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car
using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my
cell phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee
between my legs, splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins,
ruined the damn phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected
an important call. Damn women drivers!