But I also like this voice over from Lock Stock .......
 
 Rory's got few interests in life; darky music, football, bees and honey 
 and kicking the **** out of anyone that interferes with that shortlist. 
 A few nights ago Rory's Roger iron rusted, so he has gone to the 
 battle-cruiser to watch the end of a football game. Nobody is watching 
 the custard so he has turned the channel over. A fat man's north opens 
 and he wanders up and turns the Liza over. `Now **** off and watch it 
 somewhere else.' Rory knows claret is imminent, but he doesn't want to 
 miss the end of the game; so, calm as a coma, he stands and picks up a 
 fire extinguisher and he walks straight past the jam rolls who are 
 ready for action, then he plonks it outside the entrance. He then 
 orders an Aristotle of the most ping pong oddly in the nuclear sub and 
 switches back to his footer. `That's ****ing it,' says the man. Rory 
 gobs out a mouthful of booze covering fatty; he flicks a flaming match 
 into his bird's nest and the man lit up like a leaking gas pipe. Rory, 
 unfazed, turned back to watch his game. The flaming man and his chinos 
 ran outside to extinguish the flames, and Rory cheered on. His team won 
 too, four-nil.