I was getting some stuff for dinner at the Waitrose near my house and queuing up behind a woman who was notable for being quite large, with a nuclear tan and was also wearing a skirt that was too short for both her size and her age. She was also wearing a pair of bright purple tights that made her legs look as if they were lit from the inside with ultraviolet lamps.
She paid for her stuff and left, I was next in line so I got started chucking my stuff down the belt. The checkout girl leaned forward towards me and in a sort of conspiratorial whisper we had a convesation that went something like this:
Checkout Girl: "You didn't recognise her did you?"
Jools: "No, why? Should I have done?"
Checkout Girl: "Yes...she was on Spitting Image every week"
Jools: "Well I thought the tan was a bit much, but she didn't look as if she was made of latex did she?"
Checkout Girl: .... <blank stare as if Jools is a nutter>
Jools: "They were all foam rubber puppets on Spitting Image weren't they...she wasn't a rubber puppet...was she somebody they used to spoof?"
Checkout Girl: "Oh no...I see what you mean...no....she used to do some of the voices"
Jools: "So how would I recognise her then?"
Checkout Girl: "Well she used to do some of the voices...didn't you just hear her talking to me?"
Jools: "Well...I only heard her say 'thanks a lot, cheerio', not much to go on is it? And anyway, if she was doing the voices she'd have been impersonating somebody else wouldn't she?"
Checkout Girl: <shaking her head with a blank stare as if Jools is a nutter>
Jools: <walks away chuckling at the absurdity of it all>
Just thought I'd share
