A tramp walks into Dewhursts and asks"I see you have in the window two pies for £1.50" The butcher replies "yes sir" tramp asks "how much for one?" butcher replies "a £1.00 sir "tramp says"I`ll have the other one then!"
A blonde calls the fire service to report a fire, she gives all the details to the fireman but when he asks how to get the she says Duh hellloooo.... in the big red truck stupid.