Ducati Sporting Club UK > Model Specific - Discussion, Technical Problems and Help > General Motorcycles only > Friday funny.

[rockhopper]

Actual writings on hospital charts:

01. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

02. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

03. On the 2nd day the knee was better, & on the 3rd day it disappeared.

04. The patient is tearful & crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

05. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

06. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

07. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old female, mentally alert but forgetful.

08. The patient refused autopsy.

09. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

11. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40LB weight gain in the past 3 days.

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast & anorexia for lunch.

13. She is numb from her toes down.

14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated & sent home.

15. The skin was moist & dry.

16. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

17. Patient was alert & unresponsive.

18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

21. Both breasts are equal & reactive to light & accommodation.

22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

24. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.

25. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

26. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

27. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen, & I agree.

28. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

29. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

30. The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.

31. She slipped on the ice & her legs went in separate directions in early December.

32. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas & crashed.

33. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room

[clockwork orange]

[Martinp]

No.8 tickled me!

[phil_h]

Some good ones there !
If they wrote some of those lines in scripts they wouldnt make it they're so mad would they