Tuesday Joke.
 

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must
be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through red light."
After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three
red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, crap, am I driving?"

:D :D Too near the truth for comfort! And its not only old ladies, its old men, Volvo drivers, Chelsea Tractor drivers, they're all the same :(!

another...

A little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, "Where's Mom and dad?" and she replied, "they're up in bed".
The little boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out to play.


Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma
"Where's Mom and Dad?" and she replied "they're still up in bed."

Again the little boy started to giggle and he ate his lunch
and went out to play.


Then the little boy came in for dinner and once again he asked his grandma "where's Mom and dad?" and his grandmother replied "they're still up in bed".

The little boy started to laugh and his grandmother asked, "what gives? Every time I tell you they're still up in bed you start to laugh! what is going on here?"

The little boy replied, "well last night daddy came into my bedroom and asked me for the Vaseline and I gave him super glue..........."



:o

Erk.......
Looks like you'd better stay well away from me then...
I drive one when at work and the other when at home. :P:P:P

Very good. I should just point out that it is Wednesday today though. All day. :smug:

I'll mind my sweeping generalisations in future!

Ah, good point Henry, i wondered why all the programmes i expected to be on tv last night had been changed. (seriously).

DOH! :eureka:

Another one for you..

A man gets up one morning to find his fiancée already in the kitchen cooking.

He looks to see what she's cooking, and to his surprise he sees she has one of his socks frying in the frying pan.

"What are you doing?" he asked "I'm doing what you asked me to do last night when you came to bed, very very drunk.", she replied

Completely puzzled, the man walks away thinking to himself, "I don't remember asking her to cook my sock"

That's why I don't get very very drunk ;)

Bad taste & pronunciation not good but here goes...........

A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she see a well-known Chinese sex therapist, Dr.Chang, so she went to see him.

Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all you crows."

The woman did as she was told.

"Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odder side of room."

Again, the woman did as she was instructed. Dr.Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me."

So she did. Dr. Chang shook his head slowly and said, "Your probrem vewy vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates."

Worried, the woman asked anxiously, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?"

Dr. Chang looked the woman in the eye and replied, "Ed Zachary Disease is when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass."

:smug:

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: