George Best/Glitter Jokes-don\'t read if easily offended!
 

George Best lay dying in his bed.


While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite Whiskey wafting up the stairs.

He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed.


Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom.


And with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.

With laboured breath, he leant against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, Laid out upon the kitchen table were literally hundreds of glassses of his favourite Whiskey.
Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?



Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the Whiskey was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life.



The aged and withered hand trembled on its way to a glass at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife. "F**k off" she said, "They're for the funeral."

[Edited on 3-12-2005 by Jasper]

[Edited on 4-12-2005 by Jasper]

:devil:

:lol:

looks like your easily pleased jasper:puzzled: Bad taste ?

Adam,you have you cover all aspects and views,irrespective of your own personal opion.You want bad?

What have Gary Glitter and a box of matches got in common?








They both come in yellow boxes!!:o

Gary Glitter was given the England managers job... Untill he tried putting Seaman into the under 15's :o

Garry Glitter is going to be the new Dr Who.he will have two assistants:k-9 and Shelly-11.

Garry Glitter and George Best have a common bond.

They both had one tot too many.

Do they celebrate xmas in vietnam ?

Dunno but they will be hanging glitter anyway

If Gary Glitter is executed he wants to be cremated and his ashes put in an Etch-A Sketch so that children can carry on playing with him after he's gone.

Your a bad man Jasper.... Keep it up :lol::lol::lol:

Ok so i am easily offended what do i do now :D



The two greatest things out of N ireland are G Best & the Titanic & they both went down early :o

pmsl, jasper thats pure quality and also the glitter ones

lighten up adam, not everyone worshipped the man

Bit late though...what is yellow and runs on a 13amp plug??? G Best..:o

TRY THESE:

> What's the difference between Gary Glitter and Lester Piggott?
> Lester Piggott is allowed to ride four year olds.
>
> What's the difference between Gary Glitter and acne?
> Acne won't come on your face until you're fourteen
>
> Did you hear Gary Glitter was in C&A?
> He heard boys pants were half-off!
>
> What did the woman say to Gary Glitter on the beach?
> Excuse me sir, you're in my son
>
> How do you know when its time for bed in the Glitter household?
> When the big hand touches the little hand!
>
> What sparkles like a diamond and can fit in a schoolgirls ring?
> Gary Glitter!
>
> The similarity between Gary Gliiter and whisky?
> They both come in small tots.
>
> What's shiny and comes in little cans?
> Gary Glitter
>
> What do you do if Gary Glitter is drowning?
> Throw him a boy!
>
> What's the difference between Gary Glitter and greyhound racing?
> The greyhounds wait for the hares to come out.
>
> What's 2 foot tall and stands at the end of little girls beds ?
> Gary Glitter's boots.
>
> Gary Glitter and his girlfriend are in Blockbuster to hire a video
> for the evening.
> Mr. Glitter's girlfriend asks him what he wants.
> He says "How about we get Aladdin ?"
> His girlfriend says "Can't we just get a video, you're in enough
> trouble already."
>
> Where's he going on holiday next year?
> To Tampa with the kids.
>
Little girl "Mummy, mummy, do they have christmas decorations in
Vietnam?"

Mom "Not usually dear but this year they are hanging Glitter!"