Friday Funny
 

This is so wrong!!



Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a
large, raging violent river. Needing to get on the other
side, the first man prayed, "God, please give me the
strength to cross the river''.


"Poof''! God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was
able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned
twice.


After witnessing that, the second man prayed, "God, please
give me strength and the tools to cross the river''.


"Poof''! God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong
legs and he was able to row across in about an hour after
almost capsizing once.


Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man
prayed, ''God, please give me the strength, the tools and
the intelligence to cross the river."


" Poof''! He was turned into a woman. She checked the map,
hiked one hundred yards up stream and walked across the
bridge.



Chris:burn:

yeah have to say that is acutually incorrect.

it doesnt allow for the fact that the bird would have walked for a couple of hours in the wrong direction initially after reading the map upside down.

Ha i think That sounds more like it

you've obviously not had the right women Dickie:smug:

C:saint:

Thats better than the original joke:lol:

You want to be careful Tony I've got you sitting next to Charlotte tomorrow night :lol:

:o

ooohh! - you've been doing a seating plan??
are we to have nice name cards too?:P:P
oh, and a pressie to take home:lol:

Seating plan PMSL :lol::lol::lol:

Name cards, well I did start to think about this and maybe some awards, I was also hoping the memories of a funny night would suffice as something to take home....

Name cards would be good - cos by the time I've had a bevvy, I'll forget who is who:lol:

hmmm, i can see an activity for this evening coming my way :lol:

we dont need to know Lily:o

this is a respectable DSC messageboard:saint:

I should be so lucky ;)

:eureka:

Claire, I've got an idea which I am sure you'd love to do tomorrow... :D

I dunno about namecards! Always feels so WRONG!

S'long as it doesn't involve KY Jelly..............:lol:

NO so long as it does!:lol:
Butch

A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."

The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."

The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."

"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"

"Tiger Woods."

"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"

"Yeah."

"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."

The husband and wife then make passionate love.

When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

"What are you doing?" asks the wife.

The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.

When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. "Now what are you doing?" she asks.

The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it again."

The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.

When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.

The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"

"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this dam hole!!!!!!!!