Need to Know
 

What expressions (min. 4 max 8 due to limited memory capacity) is it ESSENTIAL to have at finger tips when discussing anything about bikes? Answers on a U2U or Mess. Bd. Recognise that, as lady biker, don't know 1st thing about technical stuff. My bike is red. That's about sum total of my knowledge. Hoping to learn. Over to you guys, and girls. Keep it clean! Have 'prim and proper' image to maintain!:puzzled:

Uh...oh...!!
This could get interesting :o
Not sure you should've confessed to the "prim and proper" bit round 'ere!

Just make sure your nipples are greased, and your big end isn't making any funny noises!

Need to Know
 

I'm sorry! You've lost me!

And how the **** did you know I have a big end?

So I can see this may have been a bit of a wasted exercise. May ask for partial refund on membership fee ... and buy some kind of motorcyle magazine type useful technical thingy ... or not. Pay a mechanic. That's the obvious answer. They're happy to take yr. money and act like you deserve to be riding a Ducati. Will leave Q. open though, in hope of some REALLY USEFUL answers.

RED? Wass\'at abaht den?
 

You only have to remember that.........

Grey Dukes (Senna) only have primer applied:D

Red Dukes only have the undercoat applied over the grey primer :lol:

And the ONLY properly finished ones are those with the Yellow topcoat like the ORIGINAL racers had ;)
I must say I think the Blue ones are cool too (for when Mort joins in) :biaggi:

And never take anybody else seriously on here cos they're all stark raving bonkers and I'm the only sane one :devil:

Have to disagree. Only colour for Ferrari - Red. Only colour for Ducati - Red. Unless you come from Essex. In which case, who cares? (Sorry, you Essex club members. No insult intended)

Redruth - totally correct about colour, the others are only primer or undercoat.

What bike do you have?

C

Oops! sorry. Did you want me to be serious??

OK, seriously,
If you want to learn about technical stuff, do a search for posts by the likes of nelly, or shazaam, and your brain will be bleeding for weeks!
And ask questions..... my experience here is that if someone's an expert on somethink they'll be most pleased to share it.

have fun!
nb

Redruth, and take it yer Ruth, unless parents had a wicked sense of humour
Take not a slightest bit of nonsense from Psychlist
First discussion topic
1/. Wot colour yer bike then babe!!!!!!!!!!??
I must say I think the Blue ones are cool too (for when Mort joins in)

2/. Can yer ride it fast, anything over 60 kms (yup Kms/hr) is fast to said Psychlist
3/. Can yer get yer knee down ( an answer that I gave to a lady fitting me leathers,) Christ knee down??? cant even get me leg over not alone.........ok, you get the drift
4/. If it aint blooo then surely (and stop calling me shirley) its not a real bike

OK so the thread has disippated into total blooo anarchy very quickly, but the saner members will respond soon..................where's kwikbitch when you need her
cumon Lisa, Sally Ann and Lizzie and sunflower (ok so I got the name wrong)
bestest
blooo moood mort

Must always discuss a blokes chicken strips (the bits of unused tyres at the edges) makes some blush - and others brag - so a good opener.

Also discuss BHP at the crank & back wheel - get some of 'em confused:D

Another gambit, is to discuss lean angles & set up - weeksy will help out on this one.

Hope this is what you are after?:puzzled:

Redruth, I cannot emphasise strongly enough that Mort knows his stuff. Listen to his advice, you know it makes sense.

And welcome to DSC!

YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!! LET'S TALK ABOUT CHICKEN STRIPS!!!
WHO WANTS A PHOTO?????

:cool:

OK. Overwhelmed with technical (???) input. Nbs 996. Don't ever take me seriously. At your peril, if you do! 'blue' smurf turns red, right? CK and AK 996 S (pos SPS not sure - have to check registration doc). Paulmort - hesitate to get my knee down (a) no sliders (b) natural inclination to keep knees together. And Hi Loz. Was regretting not trying to get to Lincs (wotever that was) but this good so, in spite of fact will be ****ing with rain for next 2 days and prob. won't ride, cheers. Amusing soiree.

I don't take anything seriously ruth... except shedding 60% of me sprocket nuts on the motorway :sniff:

As for the smurf - I wouldn't know, I don't admit to strangling my smurf!

Ok. Now you have my attention. What are 'sprocket nuts'? I know what chain and sprockets are. 180 quid, fitted. But nuts? So far, have been unable to glean a single useful expression from 'discussion'. Bhp - know it exists but don't understand it. Don't get me wrong. I AM NOT A THICKO! Law degree etc. But maths and machinery (in spite of fact was IFA for 16 years) passes me by!

Well CK! REALLY!
 

Never discuss chicken strips with a woman, you'll just get a slap cos she thinks you're calling her a chicken and wanting her to strip! :P

Dont mention BHP to a woman, it was bad enough when they just had PMT! Now its PMS! So if we REALLY ARE working backwards through the alphabet can you imagine how bad it'll be each month with BHP :o :o :o

Be wary of women talking about lean angles cos they're really talking about getting you to lose MORE weight and only look at your food from the lean angle!
It's not until it's TOO LATE that you realise it's a big SET UP!

:lol: :sing: :lol: :bouncy: :lol: :sing: :lol:

And I used to be so quiet and unassuming before I so innocently wanderd onto the UKMOC website :lol:

Hay - just as long as its yer sprocket ones;)

CK is spot on - power/bravery/bragging....the only way to a mans heart:devil:

Sprocket nuts....
 

some of the posher ones among us have quick release rear sprockets, I have a Talon (brand name) one. Basically, they come in two pieces - the carrier which bolts onto the hub (the bit that spins round with the back wheel), and then the outer ring with the teeth on that the chain goes round.

This outer ring can be taken off and swapped with one of a different size to change the gear ratio (changes the number of times the back wheel spins in relation to the engine), and is held on by five little bolts. Take the bolts off and the sprocket ring will just fall off..... hence me being a bit serious about three of them coming out on their own on the motorway!

Would post a piccie of it but I'm so technically inept that I've yet to work out how to charge my camera battery!!

edited.... found some batteries, but now the tv won't change channel !!



Gold bit separates from the grey bit, and is held on by the 5 SMALLER bolts. Easier with photie I hope!

[Edited on 6-7-2004 by NBs996]

OK. Think we've established here that NO SENSIBLE OUTCOME from this. Time will tell, but, first impressions? Best I don't attempt to delve into the technical. So, I have a RED bike, a 996, Personalised number plate that says R900 UTH, with the R dropped down to read 'Ruth' . illegal, possibly, hope no police officers logged on, flutter eyelashes and say 'sorry officer, won't happen again'. 9 times so far. For god sake, it's regulation size lettering. Just a bit of imaginative lay out. What's wrong with that?

You MUST be new!!!

Ok NBs (1) wrong or right - anticipating sensible outcome - reasonable or not? (2) wot am I doin' wong. Call me old fashioned but LUDICROUSLY thought joining Club would ENHANCE BIKIN' LIFE. Still believe it might. Just waiting for SENSIBLE ONES to log on. No offence. V. impressed so far but - have I learned anything- nothing I can use - but as an undeterred Ducati rider, necessarily part of this club, for be'er or worse' will hang in there!

What would you REALLY like to know Ruthy?

Sorry, didn't mean to upset you! :sniff:

There's two sides to the club..... the rideouts and meets, which is the sensible part, and some friendly banter on the msg board.

I promise I'll try'n be sensible if you ask a tecchy question.
Hope the picture above helps explain the sprocket thing better.

Peace!
nb
I'm off to hug Smurf now :(



[Edited on 6-7-2004 by NBs996]

Ok psychlist. Wd like to know - really? what does Break Horse Power do. Ride horses, myself. Can't see the connection.
NBs 996. Not upset. don't acually do 'upset'. Except with exes and kids, obviously. Liked the picture. V. shiney. Persevere. Fellow club member needs yr support. However thick I may appear on these matter, it will eventually seep in to my subconscious. I hope!

Persevering!
 

Don't think I could properly explain brake horse power without confusing myself, so forgive me if I don't try.

But I think I can have a go at how it relates to horses....
It originates from when engines were first devised, they would be compared in pulling power by the ability of a single horse (which obviously preceeded engines!). It wasn't an exact science back then, just like measuring horses by hand-spans wasn't, but now it's been fine tuned and is now related to enrgy (kilowatts), but the old phrase has stuck.

Am I getting better at this?? :D

Ok. Clearly should have retired gracefully. Sooo sweet that you tried to explain. But, honestly, don't bother! I truly don't understand. I try, believe me. I WANT to understand. I just have this mental block about technical stuff. 'Women, know your place'. I would love to be incensed by that anti-feminist sh** but, honestly, in my case, is true. That absolutely does not entitle you to label any other woman accordingtly. Is just me, OK?

Maybe you could post some interesting recipes for us Ruth.;);)

1, How fast does it go
2, Handles like its on rails
3, Ducatis have soul, Jap bikes don't
4, about £65 (answer to the question how much do cam belts cost)
5, about 12000 miles (question was How often do the cam belts need changing)
6, The Dry clutch (answer to the question What's that rattling)
7, They all do that (when somebody points out the dirty clutch fluid)

The you're going to get most when you pull in anywhere is "is your bike alright mate? Rattling a lot isn't it?" Which you can just smile to or explain that you'd be worried if it didn't make that noise - it is a ducati after all. As Skids points out it is actually the dry clutch rattling, which you can make louder by fitting an open clutch cover which look very pretty and come in all colours and patterns.

Don't talk to me about numberplates though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<bites tongue>

I was browsing the Ducati website just last night and although I'd missed this rather entertaining thread first time round (or ignored it after the comments about Essex ;) ) I thought I'd just point you in the direction of the Glossary section of Ducati's website which should contain just about all the info you need:

http://www.ducati.com/glossary.jhtml

Hope this helps!

PS: You do know WHY both Ferrari and Ducati originally painted their racing machines red, don't you?

redroof, if you want to know anything about anything, there is a regular visitor to the board called vman, he`ll put you straight........he he he..

no?
TELL US! TELL US!!

Colours:

Back at the start of motor racing, teams were composed on a national level rather than "buying" the best driver/rider to race your machine.

To identify the different nationalities, a colour system was used whereby a vehicle was painted in the associated national colour.

Some examples:
American vehicles were yellow - hence Daytona Yellow,
British vehicles were green - hence British Racing Green,
German vehicles were silver - hence the "traditional" Merc colour,
French vehicles were blue,
...and Italian ones were Red!

[Edited on 7-7-2004 by antonye]

Never knew that about why Red. My Daytona was yellow. I seem to get it right instinctively. And the comments about Essex? I feel entitled to make them. Lived in Loughton, a stone's throw from High Beech, for 11 years. My daughters were educated (I use the term loosely) in your wonderful county. Also, I learned to ride by taking self off every weekend all over Essex county. Very slowly at first on Yamaha Radian, 600cc bought day after passing 5 day biking course, prior to which had never even ridden a scooter, then on Bandit 600S then on Daytona which moved with me to Hertfordshire. Have been back to blat around on the 996 a number of times.

Well I'm originally from Suffolk, so moving to Essex was a step UP the evolutionary ladder for me ;)

Redruth - please dont take this the wrong way, but are you sure you arent Dibble?

Its just your manner of speech is so similar at times......:o

C

edited - as just had denial email from Dibble:D
Just post on the board Dibs - you know you want to....

[Edited on 7-7-2004 by CK and AK]

:mad:

:lol:

Come on Dibs......... speak :biaggi: