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-   -   Don't Fart In Bed (/showthread.php?t=11203)

yeti 20-Oct-2004 13:51

Don\'t Fart In Bed
 
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married
for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.

The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her
eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them
off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then on
Christmas morning as she was preparing the turkey for
dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the
bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.

She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual
trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
laughing, tears in her eyes!

After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.

She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Darling, you were right." "All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."

"What do you mean?" asked his wife.

"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."


:sing::sing::sing::sing::sing::sing::sing::sing::s ing::sing::sing:

AK 20-Oct-2004 13:56

:lol::lol::lol:

Ok, enough please Yeti!!!:P

The whole of the office just looked up & stared at me, as I read the umpteenth post of yours & just had to laugh out loud!

Thankyou for cheering me up, its been a bad week so far.....

But please, dont you have a job mate??:puzzled:


C;)

dave w 20-Oct-2004 14:46

Thats sick !! But funny:frog:

Melnie Mouse 20-Oct-2004 14:54

I have just laughed so much that my eyes are streaming.. I just hope nobody heard me as I can't tell em when I'm supposed to be just eating my sarnies at my desk!

Best Laugh I've had all day... :) :P

yeti 20-Oct-2004 15:17

Am busy booking flights and hotels and hire cars and all the other crap that goes with organising last minute trips to the states, so in between various websites chuntering away and digesting my details, I get a wee bit of time to cheer you all up.

With one exception of course!:flame:

rcgbob44 20-Oct-2004 20:52

Excelent!:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

chrisw 20-Oct-2004 22:20

More fart humour
 
You'll need the speakers on for this

http://www.farts.com/discussions/ult...;f=11;t=000017
:roll:

chrisw 20-Oct-2004 22:25

And yet more
 
http://www.farts.com/discussions/ult...;f=11;t=000008

scully 21-Oct-2004 16:03

Bloomin marvelous havent laughed so much in ages :lol::lol::lol:


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