Friday Joke.
 

A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches
straight up to the
counter and says, "Hi... You know, I just HATE
drawing welfare. I'd really
rather have a job." The social worker behind the
counter says, "Your timing
is excellent sir! We just got a job opening from a
very wealthy old man who
wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his
nymphomaniac, underwear-model
daughter.

You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but
he'll supply all of your
clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be
provided. You'll be
expected to escort her on her overseas holiday
trips. You will have to
satisfy her sexual urges. You'll have a two-bedroom
apartment above the
garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year".

The guy says, "You're bullshi**in' me!"

The social worker says, "Yeah, well... you started
it."
>

:lol::lol::lol:

Two hillbillies walk into a bar. While having a shot of whiskey, they
talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, she is eating a sandwich, begins
to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real
distress.

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says "Kin ya swallar?" The woman
shakes her head no. "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue and
shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress,
yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with
his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has violent spasm and the obstruction
flies out of her mouth.

As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to the
bar.

His partner says "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there "Hind Lick
Maneuver."

But I ain't never seed nobody do it!"

Hairdressing products salesman is on the road and stops off at s****ey city hotel.
Whilst in the bar he gets chatting to a very sexy young lady and he thinks to himself "I'm in here if I play my cards right"
He goes to the receptionist and says he would like a room for the night for himself and his wife
Daylight breaks and he goes to settle the bill and the receptionist present him with a bill for £600
Man:"How the heck can it be 600 quid, I've only been here for one night"
Receptionist: "That may be so sir, but your wife has been here all week"

Michael Owen walks into a bar and goes up to the nearest blonde stunner and grabs hold of her, kissing her on the cheek, the blonde replies "Ooooh, you're a little forward"

Two Blondes walked into a bar.
You'd think one of em would have seen it.
:lol: