Mechanical Numpty Award?
 

I had a call from a mate who drives a 1980 MGB, he'd come out of work and found the engine wouldn't turn over. He asked me to drive down to Bromley to try and jump start it ,and to (ahem) bring my AA card and, if necessary, take advantage of the "you're covered, not the car "clause.


Well, the blokes done me loads of favours over the years, so I got into the ever-reliable Alfa and trundled off with my jump leads.

When I got there, I connected up, ran the Alfa for a few minutes, then asked him to try and start it. The engine was almost catching, so I told him to give it a bit of gas. Now, unbeknownst to us, the rod that connects the two carb bell-cranks had a bit of a bend in it and, as matey boots the accelerator, the rod goes beyond "dead centre" and jams wide open...cue racing engine, clouds of smoke and impending MG apocalypse. As I leant in and switched the ignition off, he leaps out of the car, jumps up and down :flame: :flame: and asks me what I think I'm doing...."You should have known your battery was the wrong voltage" :lol: :lol: :lol:

I started to try and explain the role of electrical current in the internal combustion engine, but Lifes just too short!

Is this somehow connected to BMW drivers and chavs in Peugeots, who never work out their controls, causing them to always have four spotlights on, but never use any indicators ?

....Coat's on pending replies from BMW and Peugeot driving DSCers!




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I think that's hilarious - to think you'd made all that effort to get there and it still didn't go bang!

:lol:

True, if I'd let it run a few moments longer, there would be one less turd-brown, rostyle-wheeled monstrosity on the roads, but the explosion would have played havoc with my paintwork!

:devil:BMW's and 4 x 4's surely?:devil:

personally i can take all the crap you want to give about BMW cars i would not swap mine for any Alfa you care to think of. People who dont have them complain about BMW drivers, obviously they are jealous of the awesome service and reliability that you get. Of course theres the depreciation to think of with an Alfa its worth about a third of fookall 10 mins after getting off the forcourt not a problem with the beemer:sing::lol::lol::lol:

:frog: I wasn't dishing out cr4p about BMW cars, I was having a mild pop at drivers who feel duty bound to utilise all their spotlights at the least possible provocation (ie: none) :frog: OK, its a fair cop, BMW drivers are no worse that any others (well, maybe, just a little bit) in this respect (and a ******** site better than chavs in Peugeots) , but jealousy of BMW attributes? Oh, I don't think so... Alfa is to Ducati as BMW is to H0nd4. Nothing wrong with H0nd4s, reliable, great service, stunning engineering, just lacking a bit in soul and passion. I spend more money on keeping my 1994 24V Cloverleaf on the road than I would keeping a 2003 530, but it gives me twice as much satisfaction too.

Oh and another thing...what's the problem with depreciation? If you've got a reliable, soulful, satisfying (Italian) car, why would you want to sell it?

Personally I have always seen Alfa's as an enthusiasts car, which I guess means that you buy with the heart rather than the head, you can cope with the loss of money and will put up with the inconveniences of reliability, lack of dealers etc etc just for the exhasut note. For me a car is a tool so I need something that always gets me there in comfort, is capable of 30,000 a year or more, is large enough to carry four people and associated crap last time I looked Alfa didnt make such a vehicle or anything like a 5 series estate (Diesel). :smug:

I admit I have been in very few Alfa's in recent years, the last was a 147 bombing round Amsterdam, nice but not for me.

I agree with you about Chavs in their small Peugots, Novas and Citroens I also dislike people who drive with their foglights on and people who dont understand or have any lane discipline.:mad:

When I need to get out and enjoy my journey I use my Ducati and in that respect Im sure we are all in agreement.

And in answer to the point about why would you wish to sell an italian car with its soulful satisfying attributes because its knackered after 100,000 and has become a liability.:frog:

As I have no smiley etiqet (just realised dont know how to spell it) I hope any inapprpriate use is forgiven:saint: