Bloody Terrorists!!
 

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and have
raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though,
security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit
Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when
tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorised from
"Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a
"Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its
terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in
France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a
recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively
paralysing the country's military capability.
It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of
alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly"
to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: Ineffective
Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to
"Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher
levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only
threat they are worried about is NATO pulling
out of Brussels.

posted on 10-10-2005 at 17:10

Terrorism - Foreigners view



The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings, the level has just been raised from 'miffed' to "peeved'. Soon though, the levels may be raised yet again to irritated' or even "a bit cross". Londoners have not been a "bit cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorised from tiresome" to "a bloody nuisance", The last time a "bloody nuisance" warning level was issued was during the great fire in 1666.

Be aware that the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from RUN to HIDE. The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing their military capability.

It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert, the Italians have increased their alert level from "shout loudly and excitedly" to "elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain, "ineffective combat operations" and "change sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from "disdainful arrogance" to "dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They have two higher levels, "invade a neighbour" and "lose".

Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from isolationism" to "find another oil-rich nation in the middle east ripe for regime change". Their remaining higher alert states are "attack the world" and "beg the British for help".

Finally over there in Britain they've gone from "pretend nothing's happening", to make another cup of tea". Their higher levels are "remain resolutely cheerful" and "win".