Tuesday chuckle
 

Had some bad news last night, but this still made me chuckle...

A woman walked into a vets with a very poorly duck under her arm. She put it on the vet's table and while it was there the poor thing croaked it's last.

The vet said "well I'm sorry to have to tell you, but it's dead"

"Oh no", said the woman "not my little ducky, I raised him from an egg, are you sure there is nothing you can do?".

"Well, I can do more tests" said the vet, and with that he gave a little whistle. At the sound of the whistle a beautiful black labrador walked in, put it's front paws up on the table and sniffed the duck all over for a couple of minutes. Finally, the dog looked at the vet with big sad eyes and shook his head slowly, then it dropped to the floor again and walked out of the surgery.

The vet gave another little call, and a big ginger tom walked in, jumped up on the table and walked slowly round the duck looking him up and down intently. After a minute or so it looked up at the vet with big sad eyes and slowly shook it's head, then it jumped off the table and walked out of the surgery.

"Well, I'm sorry but there's nothing more I can do" said the vet.

"Oh well", said the woman "thanks for trying, how much do I owe you"

The vet tapped around on his calculator and said "That'll be £250 please!"

"What !!!" cried the woman "£250 to tell me I've got a dead duck ???"

"Well" said the vet, "by the time you've paid for the lab report and the cat scan it all adds up"

Well it made me laugh!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I like that ;)

That appeared in one of last months mags and its years old anyway!

Well, I was only trying to cheer myself up after a sudden death in the family...but hey...

I'm sorry you've had more bad news in the family Jools. Glad to see you're still having a chuckle over things. I hadn't heard that joke before. As someone who has spent thousands on vets bills, and hundreds on animal insurance to avoid said bills, it made me chuckle. I've also had occasion to take a very sick duck to the vet to be put down because I couldn't bring myself to kill it after my boxer played 'squeaky toy' with it. I'd raised it from a tiny duckling but was only charged £23.50 for an injection to put it out of its misery. I feel cheated. I wasn't offered a lab report or a cat scan!

No offence intended Jools.

Noisy bikes!!!
 

Take a seat, I want to tell you a story!

A Sunday school teacher asked her class to do some reading for homework so the children could tell a short story from the Bible in next weeks class. Little Johnny was really excited because his mum and dad were keen bikers and he knew JUST the right story that he would tell, so he religiously toiled away at his homework every night that week.

When Sunday came around and little Johnny was dropped off at Sunday school by mum and dad, his hand was first in the air when teacher asked them to tell a story. Admiring his enthusiasm the teacher smiled sweetly at little Johnny and asked him what he was going to tell the class and why he'd chosen it.

"Well Miss, I'm going to tell the story about David and Goliath, because it's got motorbikes in it and I'm going to ride a motorbike when I grow up".

"Thats very interesting Johnny" said the teacher, "but I'm not so sure they had motorbikes in Biblical times. DO you want to check again and give us your talk next week"?

"No miss"! exclaimed Johnny, ""Let me tell the story and you'll see it's true"!
So the teacher agreed and asked little Johnny to come to the front of the class so everyone could hear him when he told them his story from the bible.
"A long time ago" he began, "there were two tribes who didnt get get along very well. One was led by a little boy David and the other tribe was led by a giant called Goliath. One day, Goliath and his men decided they were going to David's village to sort him out, but David saw them coming a long way off because they were so tall and couldn't hide in the grass like he could! David and his men waited behind some trees and then, when Goliath got reeeeeal close, let him have it with their slingshots and killed him STOoooNE dead! Everyone in David's village was very happy and David jumped on his motorbike and zoomed away!"

Teacher was quite impressed with little Johnny's story but had to point out that they didnt have motorbikes in those days so David couldn't have ridden off on his motorbike!

"Oh yes he did miss!" cried Johnny, who was getting a little upset now, "It says so in the Bible miss"!

So teacher got a Bible and opened it at the story and asked little Johnny to point out where it said about David's motorbike?

"It says it right there miss" said little Johnny cheerfully, "It says David smote Goliath down and everyone rejoiced and all you could hear was the roar of his Triumph'"! :rolleyes: