New Pet ...... (Wednesday funny)
 

I'm feeling a bit lonely at the moment and so I decided life would be more fun if I had a pet. So, I went to the pet shop and told the owner that I wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, I finally bought a Centipede which came in a little white box to use for is house.

I took the box back home, found a good location for it, and decided I would start off by taking my new pet to the pub to have a drink. So, I asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go down the Queen's Head with me and have a beer?" But there was no answer.

This bothered me a bit, but I waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to the pub for a drink?" But again, there was no answer from my new friend and pet. So, I waited A few minutes more, thinking about the situation.

I decided to ask him one more time; this time putting my face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to The Queen's Head and have a drink with me?"

A little voice came out of the box





Wait for it...its worth it!!!!





Then I heard him say, in a very loud and brusque manner:
"Keep your hair on, I'm putting my bloody shoes on!"

My little pet is an octpus. I took him to the pub once and he started mouthing off about how he could play any musical instrument.

An Englishman offered him a trombone and he knocked out a decent tune, then a Welshman gave him a harp and he played a lovely lullaby.

Finally a Scotsman gave him a set of bagpipes, my little octopus wrestled with them for a while and the Scotsman shouted "Can ye no play them then!", "play them" returned the octopus, "if ever I can get these bloody pajamas off, I'm gonna **** it!"

Groan groan..... still cant beat them,,,,,, join them

Wot goes 99 clonk! 99 clonk!! 99 clonk!!!?......................................... .........

















A centipede with a wooden leg :roll:

Yep the old ones are the best :rolleyes: