I had to larf...
 

I was getting some stuff for dinner at the Waitrose near my house and queuing up behind a woman who was notable for being quite large, with a nuclear tan and was also wearing a skirt that was too short for both her size and her age. She was also wearing a pair of bright purple tights that made her legs look as if they were lit from the inside with ultraviolet lamps.

She paid for her stuff and left, I was next in line so I got started chucking my stuff down the belt. The checkout girl leaned forward towards me and in a sort of conspiratorial whisper we had a convesation that went something like this:

Checkout Girl: "You didn't recognise her did you?"

Jools: "No, why? Should I have done?"

Checkout Girl: "Yes...she was on Spitting Image every week"

Jools: "Well I thought the tan was a bit much, but she didn't look as if she was made of latex did she?"

Checkout Girl: .... <blank stare as if Jools is a nutter>

Jools: "They were all foam rubber puppets on Spitting Image weren't they...she wasn't a rubber puppet...was she somebody they used to spoof?"

Checkout Girl: "Oh no...I see what you mean...no....she used to do some of the voices"

Jools: "So how would I recognise her then?"

Checkout Girl: "Well she used to do some of the voices...didn't you just hear her talking to me?"

Jools: "Well...I only heard her say 'thanks a lot, cheerio', not much to go on is it? And anyway, if she was doing the voices she'd have been impersonating somebody else wouldn't she?"

Checkout Girl: <shaking her head with a blank stare as if Jools is a nutter>

Jools: <walks away chuckling at the absurdity of it all>


Just thought I'd share :)

:lol: :lol:

Just paid for next day guaranteed delivery on a parcel. Tracker says no one available to take delivery at 05.11.:o :o Delivery address is a shop. The worlds going mad Jools.

So Jools who did the checkout girl think you were, anyone famous :p

Talking of bad customer service, I'm currently trying to book tickets for the kids to see Hannah Montana / Miley Cyrus.

They've gone on pre-sale today via American Express, so I dug out my card to try and get some decent seats for them and the missus.

I logged onto the TicketMaster website, and tickets are £60 each PLUS a £7.20 "handling fee" PER TICKET then another £2.50 for postage!! I thought this was a show for kids?!?

Typically, all the decent tickets have gone, and I don't want to buy tickets right at the back as the O2 is obviously massive.

Then the website crashed on me at about 10.30am and I've been trying ever since to get back on.

Then I randomly tried it again on my iPhone over 3G and it works fine! So I'm now trying to get some decent tickets through the fiddly iPhone interface (playing the "Guess These Two Words to Ensure You're Not A Robot" game) and my PC still can't see the site.

Crazy!

You going then Ant?

Nope! Can't get on Ticketmaster from my PC or my iPhone now!

Nah mate...I'm only famous by proxy.

I suppose I could've said 'you don't recognise me do you' and then told her that my Brother-in-Law's dad was in 'The Beatles' (which is true), and that my Bro-in-Law has a BAFTA for a subsequent film he took part in on the Beatles.

Or that my Sister is also a BAFTA award winning TV Director because she directs 'Peep Show' amongst lots of other stuff, or maybe I should've just told her that one of my sisters best friends is John O'Farrell who wrote for Spitting Image and from whom I have signed copies of all his books