"It strikes me that Biker is a complex and rather subtle language that can sometimes appear misleading. I thought I'd start a phrase-book for beginners"
My front washed out on a patch of diesel. = I can't ride a motorcycle without falling off for no good reason.
This cage pulled out in front of me. = I wasn't looking where I was going.
I got flashed doing 60 in a 30. = I triggered a speed camera in a built-up area. I was travelling at about 36 mph.
I got flashed doing 36 in a 30. = I triggered a speed camera in a built-up area. I was travelling at about 60 mph. I am also a complete arse.
I just got flashed. Do you think I'll get a NIP and if I do and I don't sign it will I get away with it? = I never read VD.
The rear stepped out 6 inches. = I think my rear tyre may possibly have slid quarter of an inch and I wet myself.
I saw this R1 while I was out today and really blew him away. = I overtook someone riding a m/c today, it may have been a Yamaha; it was quite big anyway. He was riding sensibly according to the conditions, but I was riding like a complete ****. or I saw a motorbike in the distance.
My bike's got loads of mid-range grunt. = I don't know the first thing abour motorbikes but I like to sound as though I do.
I'm an AWB. = I once rode my bike when the sun wasn't shining.
I'm a racer = done a track day, nearly made it into the intermediates.
I hope to do the Dakar = did a green lane for the first time last week, it was fun.
I'm pretty quick = I'm bloody dangerous and too thick to realise it.
x, y and z bikes are rubbish = I either a) can't afford them or b) haven't ridden any of them but they aren't what I've got.
It's the sort of road where 140 is perfectly safe = well, obviously, for me that is as I'm the best thing that's ever used the road.
I don't practice e-stops = I just hit things for practice.
Training is for wimps = I can't take criticism
I was backing it in...= I panicked and stamped on the back brake.
I hoisted a minger and went past him on one wheel = my clutch control is absolutely rubbish.
It kicks you in that pants when it hits the powerband = I screwed up the fuel mapping.
I've fitted 300 quids worth of carbon bits = It's easier than staying off the pies
I fitted a slipper clutch and a thumb-brake on my road bike = I did a track day, nearly made the Intermediates.
I put xyz tyres on my road bike, they don't warm up properly = I did a track day recently.....
Bike plastics are stupidly expensive = I did a track day recently. Binned it.
I'm going to rat it = I keep falling off
I caught him on the corner & stuffed him up the inside - I dangerously and erratically squeezed passed someone causing them to adjust their line and then chase me for 5 miles with the intention of beating the **** out of me
I hoisted a minger off the lights = The front wheel briefly left the tarmac(about an inch) and I shat myself and backed right off thus getting overtaken by the cars i was trying to race off the lights
I do all the maintenance myself = I check the oil level and bring it to the dealer myself
Good runner - You have to be to start it.
Just rebuilt - With all the old parts
Got my new bike, got some crash bungs on order = expecting to fall off is cheaper, in the short term, than learning to ride competently. Oh yeah and bungs make me look 'ard
I do all my own maintenance = I challenge you to find one head on this bike that hasn't been rounded
AK
Linear Mode
