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| #1  13-Aug-2004, 17:44 | ||||
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| New Essential English words... TESTICULATING Waving your arms around and talking B*llocks. BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves. ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard. SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die. CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles. PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This also applies to applause from a promotion because there may be cake.) MOUSE POTATO. The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato. SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business". STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny. XEROX SUBSIDY. Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again. ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded administrivia" needless paperwork and processes. OHNOSECOND That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'Reply to All').   |
| #2 13-Aug-2004, 17:50 | ||||
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| #5 13-Aug-2004, 20:26 | |||
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| .....or how about these........... FLATULENCE The emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. BALDERDASH A rapidly receding hairline. TESTICLE A humorous question on an exam. RECTITUDE The formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you. OYSTER A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions. POKEMON A Jamaican proctologist. FRISBEETARIANISM The belief that, when you die, your Soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there. CIRCUMVENT The opening in the front of boxer shorts. |
| #6 13-Aug-2004, 20:48 | ||||
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| nice 1! I think that there should be one word to adequately explain each of these... 1/ The butt clenching moment when you realise that your about to highside and you're desperately try to hold on with one arse cheek 2/ The tool most likely not to undo the last sump bolt 3/ The loss of skin from your knuckles as the allen key slips for the third time 4/ Your bum resting gently against the bike aiming to look cool and realising that your gentle rocking motion has taken it off the sidestand (pre 2k) 5/ Drilling yourself into the ground as you realise you still have the disk lock on when you ride off 6/ Realising that the Datatag acid has decided to remove areas other than the designated ones 7/ The sudden realisation for twenty minutes that you have been tightening the ride height adjuster not loosening it 8/ No matter how slowly you undo the rear wheel spindle nut it manages to drag the adjuster with it to perform a perfect etched arc on the swingarm (ST owners only) 9/ That the copper in your mirror with the blues and twos on is actually targetting YOU 10/ Realising as you are half way down a group of lines that they are the ones normally associated with Gatso's and you are at least 15mph over the speed limit I'm sure there are other moments that we all like one word to describe - these are just some of mine... |
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