Ducati Sporting Club UK > General > Idle Chat > Hell

In Hell

One day a guy dies and finds himself in Hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the Devil.

"Why so glum, chum?" asks the Devil.

"What do you think? I'm in hell," replied the guy.

"Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here," says the Devil. "You a drinkin' man?"

"Sure, I love to drink," says the man.

"Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, all we do is drink - whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab, and Fresca. We drink till we throw up and then we drink some more," the Devil explains.

"Gee, that sounds great!" says the guy.

"You a smoker?" asks the Devil.

"You better believe it," answers the guy.

"Alright!" says the Devil. "You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, no biggie - you're already dead, remember?

"Wow! That's awesome," the guy exclaims.

"I bet you like to gamble," says the Devil.

"Why yes, as a matter of fact I do," says the man.

"I ask because Wednesday you can gamble all you want. Craps, Blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, well, you're dead anyhow" the Devil says.

"You into drugs?"

"Are you kidding? I love drugs. You don't mean.... "

"That's right," says the Devil, "Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want and if ya overdose - that's alright - you're dead, who cares? O.D.!!"

"Yowza!!" exclaims the guy, "I never realized Hell was such a swingin' place."

"You gay?" asks the Devil.

"No...."

"Ooooh! (the Devil grimaces). "You're gonna hate Fridays ..."