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  #1  
Old 23-Nov-2005, 19:33
mogwai's Avatar
mogwai mogwai is offline
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888 at Last !!!
 
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Mood: IF IN DOUBT..GET BLAGGING.
You beauty....

This is a

true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a

recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help

Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect

organization for "Termination without Cause".

>



> Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.

>



> (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

>



> Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"

> Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

> Operator: "What sort of trouble??"

> Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went

away."

> Operator: "Went away?"

> Caller: "They disappeared."

> Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

> Caller: "Nothing."

> Operator: "Nothing??"

> Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

> Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"

> Caller: "How do I tell?"

> Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"

> Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"

> Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

> Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I

type."

> Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"

> Caller: "What's a monitor?"

> Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does

it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"

> Caller: "I don't know."

> Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the

power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"

> Caller: "Yes, I think so."

> Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged

into the wall.

> Caller: "Yes, it is."

> Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there

were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"

> Caller: "No."

> Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find

the other cable."

> Caller: "Okay, here it is."

> Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the

back of your computer."

> Caller: "I can't reach."

> Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"

> Caller: "No."

> Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way

over??"

> Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because

it's dark."

> Operator: "Dark??"

> Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is

coming in from the window."

> Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."

> Caller: "I can't."

> Operator: "No? Why not??"

> Caller: "Because there's a power failure."

> Operator: "A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.

Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came

in??"

> Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

> Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just

like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it

from."

> Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"

> Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

> Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"

> Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own a computer.

>
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  #2  
Old 23-Nov-2005, 19:35
BDG's Avatar
BDG BDG is offline
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Ducati Corse
 
Posts: 3,893
Join Date: Sep 2003
Mood: Daft as MartinH after too much Smirnoff Ice


brilliant

(the caller sounds just like me with my PC)
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  #3  
Old 23-Nov-2005, 19:37
Murray Mint's Avatar
Murray Mint Murray Mint is offline
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Posts: 1,575
Join Date: Jun 2002
Mood: Waiting for the change (Not the menopause)
Oh it's just to true....
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  #4  
Old 23-Nov-2005, 20:37
butch890 butch890 is offline
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Big Twin
 
Posts: 1,602
Join Date: Jun 2003
Mood: Enjoying Togdom !

Classic!!!!!!
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