You beauty.... This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause". > > Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. > > (Now I know why they record these conversations!): > > Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?" > Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." > Operator: "What sort of trouble??" > Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." > Operator: "Went away?" > Caller: "They disappeared." > Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" > Caller: "Nothing." > Operator: "Nothing??" > Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." > Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??" > Caller: "How do I tell?" > Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??" > Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?" > Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?" > Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type." > Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??" > Caller: "What's a monitor?" > Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??" > Caller: "I don't know." > Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??" > Caller: "Yes, I think so." > Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall. > Caller: "Yes, it is." > Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??" > Caller: "No." > Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable." > Caller: "Okay, here it is." > Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer." > Caller: "I can't reach." > Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??" > Caller: "No." > Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??" > Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark." > Operator: "Dark??" > Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window." > Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then." > Caller: "I can't." > Operator: "No? Why not??" > Caller: "Because there's a power failure." > Operator: "A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??" > Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet." > Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from." > Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?" > Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is." > Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??" > Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own a computer. > |