| Mrs Jools - Update
Since I posted a couple of weeks ago about my wife suddenly losing all feeling and mobility in her right leg and arm, and being taken to hospital as a result, I have been overwhelmed by the number of emails and U2U's that I've had conveying best wishes, offers of help and people offering practical advice through personal experience of similar things happening to friends or family. There are far too many messages for me to respond to individually, but it shows once again (if proof were needed) that the DSC is far more than just a bike club. It is more like a vast, caring family and it is very humbling to know that so many people care.
The past two weeks have been terrifying, both for me and Sadie (because she's not really called Mrs Jools). For the first 10 days we have been awaiting the results of endless tests and confirmation of a diagnosis, but amongst the candidates were that she may have had a stroke at a premature age or may have had a tumour in her spine or brain that was affecting her ability to move her right leg and arm.
Finally, we have been told that it is definitely the onset of Multiple Sclerosis and in a funny way, given the horrendous alternatives, that's a huge relief. Finally we know what it is, Sadie can start treatment and we know what we're up against. MS is obviously something that you could do without, but now we know that she has it we can make life choices around that. It's obviously a progressive disease that has a lot of uncertainty about how often attacks might occur, when they might occur and to what extent you can expect any type of recovery. It could be that Sadie will go on for years without any significant deteriation, or it could be that she will become disabled relatively quickly - nobody knows.
Whatever happens, we have made our minds up that it will change our lives, but it WILL NOT rule our lives. We will adapt and deal with things as they arise. Sadie has just started a course of steroid treatment and has improved remarkably as a result in just three days.
Nobody knows what cause MS attacks but emotional and physical trauma are known to be one cause.
Since October, Sadie has suffered more than her fair share of both. Back in October, she was attacked and assaulted in the ladies toilet of a pub in Oxford - where we were celebrating our sons graduation. After this attack there was all the trauma of police investigations and medical examination for her to contend with. This is why she was tearful at the BHC christmas dinner when we went to the pub in Chelveston. It's not because she's a moody cow or that she was giving me a hard time, it was because it was the first time she'd been in a pub since the attack and found it overwhelming.
No sooner had Sadie started to rebuild herself after the attack than my dad was diagnosed with cancer in November. Although he had an operation to remove the tumour, he never found the strength to survive the operation and died a week before Christmas. He was a lovely man and Sadie was as devastated as I was by his death.
Three weeks after my dad's funeral, Sadie's own mum was taken ill with pneumonia and nearly died, although she made a recovery after two weeks in hospital.
Then a week or so after that, Sadie's best friend who has really been like a sister to her moved to Devon.
So why am I spilling my heart out like this on a bike forum?
Firstly, because I already have ample proof that I have many, many more friends on this site than people who are apathetic and this is one of the best ways to tell everybody the same thing at the same time.
Secondly, because I feel that the DSC has really shown itself to be like an extended family, not just another bike club.
Thirdly, because the burden of keeping things close to your chest in terms of Sadie's attack has been unbearable - knowing quite who you can tell and when. We made a decision this evening to 'go public' so that everybody knows.
Let me stress we are NOT looking for sympathy here, just looking to take the weight of keeping secrets off our shoulders.
I terms of sympathy, the old cliche about there always being somebody worse off than you certainly counts. I'm not religious, but today on the way back from shuffling back from the hospital cafeteria on her zimmer frame (in her 40's) Sadie wanted to look in the hospital chapel. In the chapel memorial book there was a message, in childs writing, that said.
Dear Lord Jesus, please look after my little brother. I still don't know why he had to die because I loved him. Love Jayne. 8 years old
And with that, I would just like to count my blessings, apologise for the sentimentality, draw a line under this whole thing and get on with the rest of our lives.
BTW: If anybody has got any carbon sides and Ducati Corse stickers that will fit an NHS wheelchair, I'll have them.  | 
17-Mar-2006, 00:35 
it is a big family and even tho I have not met many of you in person i like to think of you all as friends 
Jools
skidlids
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