TP was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him.
Looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island.
After being there a while, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sun set.
One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance. As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely Aussie.
Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it.
But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until TP took his arm from around the sheep.
After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.
A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman TP had ever seen (that week anyway).
She was in a pretty bad way when he rescued her and he slowly nursed her back to health.
When the young maiden was well enough, he introduced her to their evening beach ritual.
It was another beautiful evening red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance.
Pretty soon, TP started to get "those feelings" again.
He fought the urges as long as he could, but he finally gave in and, realizing he now had the opportunity, leaned over to the young woman, cautiously, and whispered in her ear,
"I'm so depressed and I can't get any dates," TP said to his doctor. "I've tried everything to lose weight."
"I think I can help," said the doctor. "Be dressed and ready to go tomorrow morning at 8 a.m." Next morning, a beautiful woman in a skintight exercise suit knocked on TP's door.
"If you can catch me, you can have me," she said....and she took off. TP huffed and puffed after her.
This routine happened in exactly the same way each day for the next five months. One day TP realized he had lost 400 pounds. He felt confident that he would catch the woman the next day.
The following morning he whipped open his front door and found a 300 pound woman in a jogging suit waiting for him.
"The doctor said to tell you," she began, "that if I can catch you, I can have you."
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