Ducati Sporting Club UK > General > Idle Chat > Evening classes for Women

[Henners]

New evening Classes for Women

1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits
4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game
5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too
6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His
7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First
8. Communication Skills II : Thinking Before speaking
9. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
10. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
11. Introduction to Parking
12. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space
13. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter
14. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption
15. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People
16. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully
17. PMS: Your Problem . . . Not His
18. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To
19. Classic Footwear: Wearing Shoes You Already Have
20. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice
21. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together


.... I'm outta the country

[Ducnow]

Those are good

[BDG]

Excellent, wait till i enroll the wife.

Now i'm just waiting for the reply 'Evening classes for men'

Actually men couldn't do evening classes because evenings are for going to the pub, or watching football, so we're safe.

[Chaz]

Finding reverse gear & using it.

[Crunchy]

No means yes means no means yes means no.......Then you instigate it ......yes means no means yes means no means f*ck it ...ZZZZZZZZZ

[Chaz]

Don't mind means I do so don't get it wrong.

[kwikbitch]

NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!!! ALL ARE WELCOME!
OPEN TO MEN ONLY!
Evening classes for men. Starting this month!
Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty of their contents, each
course will accept a maximum of eight participants each.
Topic 1. How to fill ice-cube trays. Step by step with slide presentation.
Topic 2. Lavatory paper rolls: do they grow on the holders?
Topic 3: Differences between the laundry basket and the floor. Pictures and
explanatory graphics.
Topic 4. The after-dinner dishes and silverware: can they levitate and fly
into the kitchen sink? Examples on video.
Topic 5. Loss of identity: losing the remote to your significant other.
Helpline and support groups.
Topic 6. Learning how to find things, starting with looking in the right
place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming. Open forum.
Topic 7. Health watch: bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health.

Topic 8. Real men ask for directions when lost. Real-life testimonials.
Topic 9. Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel parks?
Driving simulation.
Topic 10. Learning to live: basic differences between mother and wife.
Online class and role-playing.
Topic 11. How to be the ideal shopping companion. Relaxation exercises,
meditation and breathing techniques.
Topic 12. How to fight cerebral atrophy: remembering birthdays,
anniversaries, other important dates and calling when you're going to be
late. Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered

[Redruth]

Well responded KB

But I think Shaun is right. Men don't actually think they have anything to learn. They are perfection personified and those clothes left just a smidgen away from the laundry basket, on the floor, it's just a little test for us so we can prove how much we care.

Note to self: put them on the dog or straight in the dustbin

[Crunchy]

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.





For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.





And when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol, set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump up his ****.