Ducati Sporting Club UK > General > Idle Chat > Anyone on here have young boys?

a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

The following came from an anonymous mother.

"Things I've learned from my boys (honest and not kidding)"

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on clumps of dust and fluff, found under most items of furniture, and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw cricket balls up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a cricket ball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-glazed) doesn't stop a cricket ball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "oh oh", it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with bleach makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego pieces will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.

11. Playdough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much gelatin you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like gelatin.

15. VCRs do not eject peanut butter sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in petrol tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odour is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Reading has an approximate 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the bleach and brake fluid.

25. Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

[Loz]

Gave me a big smile, that did. Cheers David.

[Redruth]

I'll be passing that on to both my sisters with young children.

Top post, Dave!

And I've already forgiven you for driving straight past me lat night and leaving me to walk the last 1/2 mile to Jury's Inn. Glad I managed to catch you still at the bar though

[clockwork orange]

now I know why I never wanted any.....................

[Martinp]

Does No.8 really work?

[philthy]

Thanks for that post.....I was thinking the other day how sensible this place has become.........Who is going to be brave enough to try no 8?

[Felix]

I've got some brake fluid. Can anyone spare some bleach?