Bikes: Ducati 996 1 & only Class C DD Champion and KTM LC8 950 SMR
Posts: 2,395
Join Date: May 2002
Mood: It's not big, Its not funny, It's necessary
Hmmmmm How drunk have you ever been
Extract from the London Evening Standard - -- L, Monday, October 10,
05:22:19pm A drunk who claimed he had been raped by a dog was yesterday jailed for 12 months by a judge. Martin Hoyle, 45, was arrested by police after a passing motorist and his girlfriend found a Staffordshire bull terrier, called Badger, having sex with him at the side of a road in Highgate, North London.Prosecutor Ben Crosland said the couple had stopped to help because they thought Hoyle was being attacked by the animal. But when they got closer they saw that he had his trousers round his ankles, Was down on all fours and the dog was straddling him from behind."The defendant mumbled something about the dog having taken a liking to him, said Mr Crosland. "The couple were extremely offended and sickened by what they saw."Another passing motorist contacted the police and Hoyle was arrested as he walked with the dog down the road. Hoyle, of Finchley Road, Highgate, told police "I can't help it if the dog took a liking to me. He tried to rape me.He repeated the rape allegation at the police station and added "The dog pulled my trousers down." Hoyle, who has had a long-standing alcohol problem was jailed for 12 months after he admitted committing an act which outraged public decency. His barrister said Hoyle had no memory of the incident because of his drunken state, but was now very remorseful and incredibly embarrassed.Jailing him, Judge Alistair McCallum told Hoyle "Never before in my time at the bar or on the bench have I ever had to deal with somebody who voluntarily allowed himself to be buggered by a dog on the public highway. Frankly it is beyond most of our comprehension. It is an absolutely disgusting thing for members of the public to have to witness.''
3 Dogs, a Lab, a Jack Russell and a Rottweil were in the waiting room at their local vets. So the Lab decides to find out why they are there. " Why are you here" he asked the Jack Russell " I'm a chewer" he says "I chew everything. The carpet, shoes even the tree's out side. I just can't help it" "So what are they going to do with you" asks the Lab "Put me down" says the Jack Russell "That's a bit hard" says the Lab "Well" says the Jack Russell "the last straw for my owners was when I chewed my Masters priceless collection of stamps" "Oh bad luck old sport" says the Lab "Why are you here then" asked the Jack Russell to the Lab "Well I'm a pi55er" says the Lab "I pi55 on the kitchen wall, on the kid's toys even on my Masters favourite Ducati whilst he was still on it. I just can't help it" "So what are they going to do with you then" asks the Jack Russell "Put me down" says the Lab "My God" say the Jack Russell " that's a bit hard isn't it" "Well" says the Lab "what finally did it was when my master wasn't looking I pi55ed in his beer" "Unlucky" says the Jack Russell After a few seconds wait they both look at the Rottweiler. "Well if you must know" says rottweiler " I here because I'm a sh*gger. I sh*g everything, the table leg, the postman's leg, I've even been caught sh*gging the TV whilst a Lassy film was on. I just can't help it" the Rottweiler hangs his head down "but the final straw was when, one day my masters B!tch was kneeling down to clean the shower. I just couldn't help it. I just pounced on her and gave her the Rodgering of her life" "Oh too bad" said others "so you're here to be put down as well then, are you" says the others
"No" says the Rottweiler "to get my nails clipped"
Linear Mode
