Read this. Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad.
For those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland Australia.
Dear Mum & Dad,
I am well. Hope youse are too.
Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the farm - tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am.
But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack - nothin'!!
Blokes haz gotta shave though, but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing!
At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks or possum stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed again until noon, and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the back paddock!!
This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a Bloody possum's bum and it don't move and its not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year!
All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target its a piece of ****!! You don't even load your own cartridges - they comes in little boxes and ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload!
Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster.
Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from The Engineers - he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pickhandles across the shoulders and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet, but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.
I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.
> Australian Farmer > > An Australian ventriloquist visiting the outback walks into a small > village and decides he'll have a little fun! > > Aussie: "G'day Mate! Good looking dog, mind if I speak with him?" > > Farmer: "Don't be stupid, the dog doesn't talk" > > Aussie: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?" > Dog: "Doin' all right." > > The farmer is astonished. > > Aussie: "Is this chap your owner?" > > Dog: "Yep" > > Aussie: "How does he treat you?" > > Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes > me > to the lake once a week to play." > > The farmer's mouth falls open in utter disbelief. > > > > Aussie: "Mind if I talk to your horse?" > > Farmer: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either... I don't think." > > Aussie: "Hey horse, how's it going?" > > Horse: "Cool" > > Now the farmer is absolutely dumbfounded. > > Aussie: "Is this your owner?" > > Horse: "Yep" > > Aussie: "How does he treat you?" > > Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me, brushes me down > often > and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements." > > The Farmer staggers back in amazement. > > > > > Aussie: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?" > > Farmer: "The sheep's a bloody liar!" >
10-Jan-2006, 23:22 
Fair Dinkum thats one hell of a Sheila . 
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