Ducati Sporting Club UK > General > Idle Chat > A very Merry Christmas!!

[MJS]

Dear Family and Friends

With Christmas almost upon us, I'd like to extend my heartfelt appreciation
to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards" over
the past 12 months. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed and
healthy.

Extra thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat **** in the glue on
envelopes - cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal
an envelope. Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

Because of your genuine concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because I know
it can remove toilet stains, which is not exactly an appealing
characteristic.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked
with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water
buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping centres because someone might drug me with a
cologne sample and rob me.

I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant
freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer worry about my soul because at last count, I have 363,214 angels
looking out for me.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward
an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl on the
Internet who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).

I no longer have any money at all, in fact - but that will change once I
receive the £15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating
in their special on-line email program.

Yes, I want to thank you all so much for looking out for me that I will now
return the favour! If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people
in the next 7 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diahorrea will
land on your head at 4:00PM tomorrow afternoon. I know this will occur
because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's
ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.


Merry Christmas!