Ducati Sporting Club UK > General > Idle Chat > Essex girl jokes

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>"How> many children?" asks the council worker.
>"10" replies the Essex girl
>"10?" says the council worker. "What are their names?"
>"Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne"
>"Doesn't that get confusing?"
>"Naah..." says the Essex girl "its great because if they are out playing in the street I just have to shout WAAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY,
or WAAYNE GO TO BED NOW and they all do it..."
>"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed council worker.
>"That's easy," says the Essex girl... "I just use their surnames"
>
>
>An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says.
>"Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear.
>"No" she replies. "This time it's mayonnaise."
>
>Essex Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.
>The man says "Choose from our range on the wall."
>She says "I'll take the red one."
>The man replies "That's a fire extinguisher."
>

>An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and bleeding.
>The paramedics soon arrive on site.
>Medic: "It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some questions?"
>Girl: "OK"
>Medic: "What's your name?"
>Girl: "Sharon."
>Medic: "OK Sharon, is this your car?"
>Sharon: "Yes."
>Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?"
>Sharon: "Romford, mate."