(Offensive) Nursery rhymes. 
  Mary had a little skirt
 with splits right up the sides
 and every time that Mary walked
 the boys could see her Thighs
 
 
 Mary had another skirt
 it was split right up the front
 and every time that Mary walked...
 ...but she didn't wear that one very often
 
 
 Mary had a little lamb
 Her father shot it dead.
 Now it goes to school with her,
 between two chunks of bread.
 
 
 Jack and Jill
 Went up the hill to have some hanky panky.
 Silly Jill forgot her pill
 And now there's little Franky.
 
 Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
 her clothes all tattered and torn.
 It wasn't the spider that crept beside her, But Little Boy 
 Blue and his horn.
 
 Old Mother Hubbard
 Went to the cupboard
 to fetch her poor dog a bone.
 When she bent over
 Rover took over,
 And gave her a bone of his own.
 
 Mary had a little lamb
 It ran into a pylon.
 10,000 volts went up it's ass
 and turned it's wool to nylon
 
 Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
 Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
 What have you got there?
 Said the Pieman unto Simon,
 Pies, you ********.
 
 
 Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
 Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
 All the kings horses and all the kings men, Said "F*ck him, 
 He's only an egg.
 
 
 Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
 Kissed the girls and made them cry.
 When the boys came out to play,
 He kissed them too, cause he was gay.