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Old 08-Jul-2005, 09:39   #1
psychlist psychlist is offline
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Another EU ruling!!
Would you believe the European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German (which was the other possibility).
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish".



In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c"-- Sertainly this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will also be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.



There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" wil be replased with the "f". This will make words like"fotograf" 20% shorter.



In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always been a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" in the language is disgraceful, and they should go away.



By the 4th yar peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".


During ze fifz yar, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.



ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!
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Old 08-Jul-2005, 10:15   #2
DSC Member AK AK is offline
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Old 08-Jul-2005, 10:19   #3
Harv748 Harv748 is offline
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Old 08-Jul-2005, 13:45   #4
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Old 08-Jul-2005, 14:38   #5
DSC Region Organiser skidlids skidlids is offline
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Old 08-Jul-2005, 19:23   #6
clockwork orange clockwork orange is offline
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