1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail 
 to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.  
 2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the 
 office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at 
 all.  
 3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send 
 me until I return from holiday on 4 April. Please be patient and your 
 mail will be deleted in the order it was received.  
 4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged £5.99 for 
 the first ten words and £1.99 for each additional word in your message.  
 5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is 
 unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try 
 sending again.'(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see 
 how many individuals did this over and over).  
 6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing* 
 system.. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a 
 reply in approximately 19 weeks.  
 7. I've run away to join a different circus.  
 AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE:  
 8. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical 
 reasons.. When I return, please refer to me as 'Margaret' instead of 
 'Steve'.  
 Rgds, Rob

