FRIDAY Joke
While on a tour of the UK the Queen gets assassinated and heads up to the Pearly Gates.
On arriving Elton John and Jean Paul Gaultier are in front of her also waiting to get in.
After waiting for 5 or so minutes St. Peter come over to the 3 of them and explains that Heaven is very full at the moment and so he can only let one of them in. He asks them to each stand forward and explain why they think they should be allowed in.
So first upsteps Elton John - "I'm one of the greatest musicians who has ever lived, i've given joy to millions through my songs and kind heart and feel I am the one to enter, i'm loved all around the world by adoring fans" he says.
St. Peter is impressed but is keen to hear the others out. Next Jean Paul steps up, "I've designed zome of ze greatest clothing ever to be zeen on ze Earth, i've developed scents that have made people smell fresh and appealing and i'm also loved throughout ze world for my fantastique personality".
Again St. Peter is impressed but he beckons the Queen to come forward. She steps up but doesn't say a word. Suddenly she pulls out a bottle of Evian, hitches up her skirt and jams the bottle up her crotch!
St. Peter is flabbergasted but watches regardless. She then takes a really deep breath and SUCKS all the water up out of the bottle. She pulls the bottle out of her crotch and then sprays the water out all around the feet of St. Peter.
Straight away St. Peter walks over to the gates, opens them up, and tells the Queen to enter Heaven.
Elton John and Jean Paul Gaultier are appaled at how that bahaviour has got the Queen in and asks St. Peter what the hell he's playing at.
"Sorry lads", he says "but even you should know a royal flush beats a pair of queens anyday of the week".
23-Sep-2005, 12:14 
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