Ducati Sporting Club UK > General > Idle Chat > Alternative Tour de France 2004

[BDG]

5 of us on 2 R1's, Thundercat, VFR and my 996 SPS.

The rules were simple, no pillions, no panniers and no autoroutes except to bypass cities. As a group we've all riden together for many years, Birchy being the last recruit in 1999 although Geoff had been missing for the last few years.

day 1 boring ride to ferry

Day2 we rolled of the overnight ferry at St Malo with hangovers at a more civilsed time than the Le Havre night ferry and headed south making progress. It was Bastille day, a public holiday in France and the roads were deserted. Imagine having a public holiday for breaking out of jail, maybe Manchester should have Strangeways Day as a bank holiday.

It soon became apparent that those bloody R1's can make better progress in a straight line than the SPS as i was flat out at an undisclosed speed when the manic dwarf came by and returned my friendly 2 finger wave. We had just returned to more sensible speeds when 3 gendarmes stepped out into the road and flagged 3 out of 5 down, waving the backmarkers through who had spotted our brakelights. The Gendarme spoke far better English than i do French, explained the error of our ways as we were 20mph over the limit. He then asked what i thought of Harleys?, to which i replied they are crap. His response was 'i have a Harley'

He then informed us the fine was 90euros (although i'm not sure if this was for speeding or my opinion of Harleys). Geoff replied 'is that 90euros each?', to which he replied 'No i'll only fine one of you and you can all chip in 30 euros each. result what a nice man.

With beerfunds slightly depleted, although not half as much as it could of been as the fines are in a sliding scale now, we wandered of in search of a hotel. We normally use a few favourite places to stay, but also search out some new ones each time. Tonights random choice was a beautifull place in the Perigord region with superb food at reasonable prices. We spent a wonderful evening sat on the veranda overlooking the river and chilled.
357 good miles plus 1 not so good one.

Day3 dawned bright and early but we did not. It is a holiday after all. got away about 11am and headed for Rocamadour for a bit of culture, wander round the village and church built into the cliff face. Walking around in leathers in 30c was a bit hot so culture vulture bit over it was back on the road. All was going well until we came across a road block, thankfully not for us and some bloke wearing a bright yellow Tshirt pedalling like the clappers. This was obviously some other less important Tour de France. Our route was closed until many hours later so we headed off on a very nice detour which was deserted as the entire local population seemed to have gone to watch the race along with the Gendarmerie.

Got back onto the planned route down some of my favourite roads and headed for one of our favourite hotels complete with giant Jaccuzzi which we all jumped in well after midnight. We reminded le patron of the hotel that we fixed his car last year, had a quick fight over who was 3 to a room and got stuck into another excellent meal, why can't we Brits produce such good food for so little money at home. Posh hotel and nobody batted an eyelid when 5 bikers turned up. They come out and admire the bikes and arrange secure parking.

Qoute of the holiday for me was when we sat down for a cold beer before diner and i said i'm starving to which Birchy replied 'No, beers better value when you don't eat because you get drunk quicker!' Thats one for TP-996.
A mere 244 miles of bliss.

Day4 started with me taking a wrong turning out of town down a route i know well, much to everyones amusement. As run leader i had an arrow shaved into the back of my head for the others to follow and to help them pick me up the right way at the end of the night. We dodged round Carcassonne on some pretty naff roads snarled up in traffic with temperatures reaching 32c before heading to the pair-of-knees with Andorra as our destination. The horrible black clouds looming over the mountains didn't bode well and sure enough as we climbed up the heavens opened with a torrential thunderstorm and hailstones in July spoiling some of the fun on the road. As we reached the top of the Pas de la Casa into Andorra at 8000ft we cheated and used the recently opened 3km long tunnel that avoids the summit. As i was in front i decided to treat the others to the sound of the Termis at full bore through the tunnel rather than their insipid in line fours. What music and the toll booth operator at the other end just laughed and made funny throttle gestures. Down the mountain into the madness of Andorra de Vella rush hour in the rain with more roadworks than ever, felt like being back in Manchester except the rain was warm. We fought our way out of town 5km up the road to Ordino where we were staying for 2 nights and met up with with John and Su from Moto Aventures for the best meal i've ever had in Andorra which is not noted for its fine cuisine.
Only 219 miles.

Day5 was a day for shopping with us descending on the multitude of bike shops in town, then stocking up on perfume, fags, and small electrical goods. We had been travelling light but the trusty Ventura was now somewhat fuller than the start of the trip despite having left a trail of used socks and undies through france. I always take old stuff and discard rather than reapack. Don't know about you but everthing fits in well when you first pack at home then the nasty luggage fairy comes along and makes things twice as big when you repack.

After the bike shops 2 pairs of smelly old boots were binned. No, i'm not half an octupus, they weren't both mine. Back to the hotel to carry on with the rest and recreation
Not many miles today.

To be continued (if you haven't already been bored to death)

[Edited on 18-8-2005 by BDG]