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Old 25-Feb-2004, 22:12   #41
Desmodromic Desmodromic is offline
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Location: Newcastle upon Tyne
Mood: more like moody
Drive-thru ATM
-------------------------------PRESS RELEASE---------------------------------
Halifax Building Society is very pleased to announce that they are installing new "Drive Thru" Cash Dispensers.

To enable customers to gain maximum benefit from this new facility they have conducted intensive behavioural studies to come up with the appropriate procedures for their use.

AS FOLLOWS:

Procedures for MALE customers

1. Drive up to the cash machine
2. Wind down your car window
3. Insert your card into machine and enter PIN
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw
5. Retrieve card, cash, and receipt
6. Wind up window
7. Drive off

Procedures for FEMALE customers

1. Drive up to the cash machine
2. Reverse the required distance to align car window with cash machine
3. Re-start the stalled engine
4. Wind down the window
5. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to find card
6. Turn the radio down
7. Attempt to insert card into machine
8. Open car door to allow easier access to cash machine due to its excessive distance from the car
9. Insert card
10. Re-insert card the right way up
11. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN number written on the inside back page
12. Enter PIN
13. Press "cancel", and re-enter correct PIN
14. Enter amount of cash required
15. Check make-up in rear view mirror
16. Retrieve cash and receipt
17. Empty handbag again, to locate purse and place cash inside
18. Place receipt in back of chequebook
19. Re-check make-up
20. Drive forward 2 metres
21. Reverse back to cash machine
22. Retrieve card
23. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card into slot provided
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off
25. Drive for 2 to 3 miles
26. Release handbrake.

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Old 25-Feb-2004, 22:19   #42
paulmort paulmort is offline
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Posts: 819
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Lagos,, sunny scammy Nigeria
Mood: Blooo Duke gets red heads
reminds me of sumwun I know
no names, na packdrill eh Lisa??
Oooops Ive gone and done it again

Mr Anonymous from Rhyl
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Old 25-Feb-2004, 22:22   #43
kwikbitch kwikbitch is offline
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Shock Horror! Britains worst cook...Channel 5, 9pm tonight!
Guess what???
I DIDN'T WIN!!!
What's going off!
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Old 26-Feb-2004, 10:17   #44
nelly nelly is offline
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Location: notts
Mood: Bloo and Yellow.. and Red now ;)
Quote:
Originally posted by kwikbitch
Shock Horror! Britains worst cook...Channel 5, 9pm tonight!
Guess what???
I DIDN'T WIN!!!
What's going off!

You didn't enter
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Old 26-Feb-2004, 18:02   #45
kwikbitch kwikbitch is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Nottingham
Mood: Smiley and waiting for the sunshine
Oh! Yeah...Doh!...
Yeah but I thought one of you would have entered me...
Oh! God what am I typing...You know what I mean!...Oh, Now I'm digging an even bigger hole...Oh No! That is not what I meant...
NEVER MIND!
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Old 26-Feb-2004, 20:10   #46
nelly nelly is offline
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Posts: 3,134
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: notts
Mood: Bloo and Yellow.. and Red now ;)
Quote:
Originally posted by kwikbitch
Oh! Yeah...Doh!...
Yeah but I thought one of you would have entered me...
Oh! God what am I typing...You know what I mean!...Oh, Now I'm digging an even bigger hole...Oh No! That is not what I meant...
NEVER MIND!

Gentleman.....................please form an orderly queue
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Old 26-Feb-2004, 20:13   #47
kwikbitch kwikbitch is offline
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Posts: 2,911
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Nottingham
Mood: Smiley and waiting for the sunshine
I knew it had to be some one...might as well be you!

**SLAP**
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Old 26-Feb-2004, 20:55   #48
paulmort paulmort is offline
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Posts: 819
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Lagos,, sunny scammy Nigeria
Mood: Blooo Duke gets red heads
You aint that ladee wot woz on
radio five live tonite, KB woz you, under a psuedonym??? oh hell, usin a false name thingy
Woz sellin 'er v.......y (prob on e-bay) to highest bidder
Mind you she said she woz 18, but you say that all the time
£8,400 woz the highest bidder, and NOOOO it woznt me, as I bid £8.40
a very confused and sober mort
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