Ducati Sporting Club UK > General > Idle Chat > Have a laugh at this poor blokes expense

[keith_mann1959]

My youngest son has 2 friends who are brothers, they are called jack and daniel.

[madmav]

A supplier of mine is !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Michael Hunt !!! shortend to mike Hunt !

[Simonwalsh]

This is a laugh

How about a guy I knew T Baggs who married a girl called Ann!! When they married they changed to her maiden name funnily enough.

Another guy I know Mr Floody - job? ..... a plumber!

But ..... the funnies I have heard of is a big black guy called Clive Dimondiker!! No stereotypes there then!

[aws]

No word of a lie I was at boarding school with an Irish lad called
Sean Hardon.
100% gen - no word of a lie.

aws

[aws]

The Army classic?
Private Parts

[paulmort]

When I worked offshore, the best one on the tannoy woz
theres a message in the radio room for
Willie Eckerslike
........................
mort

But then again there is a real company called Alan Dick, who are specialists in steel and tower construction
So the call would be
a messege for "A Dick, the erection specialists" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[MARTIN H]

Havent seen it for a while but I often used to see a works van plumber/joiner/builder I cant remember which in Lancs.

And the guys name in big letters all over the van was DEREK DEATH!

I know its not as funny as the others but nevertheless it always made me feel uneasy being behind him on the motorway. Used to imagine a Lancastrian grim reaper behind the wheel.

[timetrial]

When I was cycling full time I had a team mate called Alan Hole - he just loved the fact that all his bikes had A.HOLE on the top tube.

Also another team mate's real name was Hugh McKelvie - Once when we were over in Belgium racing we arrived at the HQ and collected a program. It had all of our names listed but Hugh had miraculously become Huge McElvis. We really wet ourselves when we saw it in print but not as much as we did when the race was on.

Hugh & myself got in a break with a couple of Belgians, a Swiss and an Italian. As we crossed the start / finish line with about 24kms to go(we were riding a road circuit doing laps of about 8kms) we heard a very excited commentator shouting out our names to the world. The race progressed and with about half a lap to go the Swiss attacked, I was already thinking about making a jump and responded quickly chasing him down with Hugh on my wheel.

The three of us started to pull away at about 50kmh. We were pretty confident that between us we could work him over and get the win and at worst a third. Pressure was on and the pace was intense. We turned left into the main street of the finish town and onto the cobbles with about 500m to go and started playing cat and mouse. All of a sudden the Swiss attacked and once again I was straight on his wheel with Hugh tucked in behind. I could hear the commentator getting very animated over the tannoy but the noise of the bikes on the cobbles, the TV motorbike and the crowd made it impossible to hear what was being said. In the closing metres I sprung out from the slipstream of the Swiss rider and Hugh jumped out from behind me - Hugh being the better sprinter came hurtling past us both. As I crossed the line in third all I could hear was the commentator saying "Huge McElvis wins from Beat Winkler - amazink, ashtoundink" and then went on to waffle in Flemmish.

The podium was a treat - as I stood next to my new found Swiss buddy, Beat Winkler, a great cheer went up from the English speaking riders (Brits, Irish, Aussies etc.) as they summoned Huge McElvis to recieve his prize. The cheer was followed by a volley of "uh-huh"'s and "McElvis has left the building" crys. Hugh managed to top it all when handed the mic by doing a perfect "thank you very much" Elvis impression.

I think we wept with tears all the way back to the ferry!

[chris.p]

Used to work for a company that had a Director with the name of Richard head, & yes it was genuine.



Chris.

[psychlist]

Herbert FitzPatrick and Patrick FitzHerbert!