Ducati Sporting Club UK > General > Idle Chat > Hi y'all...........how yer doing?

Been away for a few days.............have you missed me?

How did you guys get on at Silverstone on Monday? Got any stories to share? Anyone start a thread?

As usual e-mail inbox full of crap but some good work stuff and a couple of amusing jokes that are worth sharing..........

"A blind man enters a lesbian bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender in a loud voice, "Hey bartender, you wanna hear a dumb blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls deathly quiet. In a deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says. "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things..

One: The bartender is a blonde woman.

Two: The bouncer is a blonde woman.

Three: The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional boxer..

Four: The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.

Five: I'm a 6-foot, 200 pound blonde woman with a Ph.D., a blacK belt in karate, and a very bad attitude!

Now, think about it seriously, mister. Do you still want to tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head and says: "Nah. Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times!"

......... and here's another -

A man goes to see his Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."

"What's wrong?" the Rabbi asked.

"My wife is poisoning me," the man replied.

Very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"

The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me. What should I do?"

"Tell you what," the Rabbi said. "Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."

A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?"

"Yes, of course," the man desperately said.

The Rabbi replied, "Take the poison."