Ducati Sporting Club UK > General > Idle Chat > Britain, Britain, Britain...

[antonye]

Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance

Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have 'call waiting' so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION.........

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

9 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolates.

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.

101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars.

And finally.........

In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.

[ps: if you thought this was about Little Britain, don't forget they're showing all the episodes from series 2 on BBC Three this sunday at 9pm!]

[ath748]

Originally posted by antonye
.....
[ps: if you thought this was about Little Britain, don't forget they're showing all the episodes from series 2 on BBC Three this sunday at 9pm!]

That is the best thing I've read today. I've managed to miss a few of them, and don't want to see the edited repeats on BBC1 Nanny State channel. Cheers for that.

Ade.

[neilkeogh]

Totally agree mate, BBC 3 got it totally right, leave the the series as it is, fancy having to tone it down for BBC 1? After all if you don't like what you see and hear you can always change channel.

Anyways up I'm going to the pub tonight to have a laydees drink!

[PeteB]

But who collates all these useless satistics at tax payers expense:ma d:

[Ray]

Tax,

Give generously Christmas is coming up!!

Ray.

[bradders]

Originally posted by neilkeogh

Anyways up I'm going to the pub tonight to have a laydees drink!

does that mean you'll be the only gay in the villarge

[Rushjob]

does that mean you'll be the only gay in the villarge

Computer says No................................................

[antonye]

Hang on, I've a picture of him here somewhere...

[Rocker]

Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

[Mad Dog Bianchi]

Uhh, hate to disagree with such a funny post, but I am afraid Yanks basically fall into the same categories. Diet Cokes are great pacifiers for those with problems on the bathroom scales.